Best Of Me

Chapter 7

The look on Morgan's face literally brought me to my knees. Even though nothing had happened between Hayleigh and me last night, I knew I had to come clean. It was time. I had put this off long enough. Forgetting about my hangover, I kicked the blankets off of myself, relieved to see I was at least dressed. I must have passed out before I could undress. Hayleigh wasn't so fortunate, she must have slipped on one of my T-shirts after I fell asleep.

"I'm gonna go Ry. I'll be in touch about arrangements." Hayleigh said quietly, slipping out of bed and grabbing her clothes from the floor. She softly closed
The door behind her, leaving Morgan and me alone.

Morgan was still glaring daggers at me all the while tears pooled in her eyes.

"This is not what it looks like Morgan..." I began.

"It looks like you were in bed with your newly deceased best friend's widow." She laughed bitterly.

"Nothing happened Morgan. I swear. She came by late last night to talk about Wade. I was drunk and in a bad state, so she stayed." I explained.

"Is that why you didn't want me to come here last night? Because she was here. I'm here now because I was worried about you. I knew when I talked to you last night, you were in a bad way, but I respected your wishes and gave you your space. Maybe nothing happened last night, but are you going to stand there, look me in the eye and tell me it's never happened before?"

I guess my jaw dropped in surprise, and her eyes widened.

"Don't look at me like that Ryan. I'm not blind. I see the way you look at her, the way she looks at you. I stupidly ignored it because I thought maybe one day, you might look at me that same way."

The tears that had been pooling in her eyes began to roll down her cheeks. I reached for her, not knowing really what else I could do. "Morgan, I'm so sorry. I...we..never...Hayleigh and I never intended this."

"So it really is true then? I'm not just being paranoid? Hell, I suspected it. Dammit. I loved you Ryan. How could you do this to me? To Wade, your best friend? How long has this been going on? Was I really that stupid?" She yelled.

"This is not at all how I wanted to do this Morgan. Please understand." I then explained my entire history with Hayleigh, going all the way back to high school. When I was done, Morgan looked completely shell shocked.

"I guess this is it then. You never loved me. It was her all along. God I'm so stupid. You're not the man I thought you were, Ryan. I thought we had something special together, but I was such a fool. I never want to see you again." She ran out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Moments later, I heard tires squealing as she pulled out of my driveway.

I was hit with yet another wave of guilt. I knew I needed to break it off with her, but fuck, this was not the way I wanted it to happen. There were so many things I could have done differently.

With nothing else to do, I crawled back into bed and threw the covers over my head, and once again, I let my memories consume me.

*******

Ry... I need you NOW!!!

The urgent text from Hayleigh on the eve of her wedding day sent me running to her house.

When she opened the door she threw herself into my arms.

"What's going on Hayles?" I asked worried.

"I can't marry Wade." She blurted out, then burst into tears.

My heart soared to new heights over hearing this, but it was followed by an immediate wave of guilt. What the hell kind of friend was I? I couldn't help but wonder though...and hope that maybe, just she was going to confess that she couldn't marry Wade because she had feelings for me.

"What's going on Hayles?" I repeated. "You know you can talk to me."

"I just realized my name is going to be Hayleigh Bailey. Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?" She sobbed.

And just like that, my heart dropped to the floor and shattered into a million pieces. She didn't have feelings for me. We were just friends. I then realized she was probably just having pre wedding jitters. I doubted seriously that she had just now come to this realization. She was not going to confess that she loved me. Why should she? She was marrying her soulmate tomorrow.

"It's not a big deal Hayles. If it bothers you that much, you can hyphenate your name, or just keep your maiden name. You're marrying the man, not the name." My words were intended to be soothing, comforting, however I felt anything but. I could have told her how I felt. Hell, I should have done it a long time ago. If I did it now, that would be the ultimate dick move.

"Hayleigh Myers Bailey. Hayleigh M. Bailey." She tested the names out loud, then broke out into a smile. "Okay. That's not so bad. I can live with that. Thank you so much Ry. I can always count on you." She then gave me a long hug, and I couldn't help but inhale the sweet smell of her shampoo and think about how perfect she felt in my arms.

All too soon she pulled away, and I was left with a feeling of awkwardness. "I...uh. I'd better get home and let you get some sleep. Big day tomorrow." I stammered.

"You're the best Ry. Seriously. I hope Morgan realizes what a catch she has."

Ah yes, Morgan. My beautiful, perfect girlfriend who I should be having these feelings for, not Hayleigh. I needed to focus on Morgan, make her my priority. Forget about Hayleigh.

The big day was upon us. I plastered a smile on my face. I graciously performed my best man duties. I said and did all the right things. I went out of my way to be extra attentive to Morgan. I made love to her that night. Long, leisurely lovemaking. It was good, very good. She said I brought her to new heights. I made her promises I knew I would never keep. I whispered things in her ear that I did not mean. As she moaned and called out my name during her orgasm, it took everything I had not to call out a name myself...a different name, not her name, because the entire time I was making love to Morgan, I was thinking about Hayleigh.