Loving You's The Antidote || l.s. ✓

Chapter 18

"Well don't just say."

//

"Mummy." Harry sobbed, "I'm sorry. I know I said I'd stay strong but I just want to be up there with you. It's so, so awful down here. I don't know how much longer I can do this. Everything's worse than it was before. How the hell am I supposed to keep living like this?"

He moved so he was sat with his knees to his chest and rested his forehead against his knees as he cried.

"Harry?" A familiar voice called out. "Do you mind if I sit with you? I hope I'm not interrupting."

"N-no, it's fine. Y-you can sit here." He wiped at his eyes aggressively.

"Shouldn't you be in school sweetheart?"

Harry shrugged, "I was but I had to go."

"What's up?" She put a hand on his back, making him flinch.

"Nothing." He shook his head, "I'm fine."

"And I'm a fairy."

"'m just overwhelmed."

"Do you need somewhere to stay for a couple of days?"

"No." Yes. "It's alright. Thank you though."

"You know you're always welcome." She said softly.

Harry just nodded. "I just need my mum." He told her, his voice cracking.

"Oh darling." She sighed, pulling him into a hug.

"I-I think I better get going." Harry mumbled, "'m sorry. I wanna try and get an extra shift in at work."

"Shouldn't you rest?"

"Can't. I lost my other job."

"Please don't hesitate to come over if you need an escape or any help." She rubbed his back.

"I-I won't. Thank you."

//

Harry was getting changed for pe when it happened. He had pulled on his t-shirt and was about to put on his hoodie when someone grabbed his arm. He gasped, pulling away but it was too late.

"Oh my fucking god! That's priceless!" Zayn threw back his head with a laugh, "you're such an attention seeker!"

"P-please stop. I-I don't want people to know." He stammered.

"Yes you do. Why else would you do it? Oi, Styles here cuts himself for attention!" He called out, everyone turning to look at him.

Harry froze, staring at everyone like a bunny in headlights. "I-I don't-"

"Then what are these? I bet they're on your other arm as well." He took his other arm, yanking up the sleeve. "Jesus Christ. Don't you get enough attention? Or are you just an attention whore?"

"It's not for attention." He said quietly, snatching his arms away.

"Don't act like nobody saw them, fag. We got pictures." Harry's head snapped up.

"What?"

"My dear friend Stan here took photos of your cutting boards."

"Delete them. Please." He begged, "I don't want people to know."

"Well it's too late now. The whole of this changing room knows and soon the whole year will."

Harry's eyes blurred with tears and he turned back to his bag, aggressively stuffing his things into it. He began to walk out, but got stopped by the pe teacher.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"I need to leave."

"Well you can't. Stay here."

"Please." He whimpered.

"No, you need to stay here."

"But-"

"Stay. Here." He growled.

Harry retreated to the changing rooms, shaking violently as he sat down. He could feel all the stares and hear them talking about him.

"You do realise your cuts make you look even worse." Stan told him with a smirk, "they just look gross."

"Why the hell is he shaking like that?" Someone asked.

Harry quickly stood up, rushing into the toilet stall next door. He locked the door, falling back against the wall as he tried to breathe steadily. Of course it didn't work, he began to scratch at his wrists, rocking back and forth.

By the time it had subsided, the lesson was bound to have finished, so he hauled himself up, unlocking the door and panicking as he spotted the business of the corridors.

"Harry? I've been looking for you!" Niall rushed over to Harry.

Harry just looked up before looking back down and walking past him.

"Hey, slow down. Are you alright?"

"'m fine."

"I heard about what happened." Niall said sympathetically.

"So why are you still talking to me?"

"Because you're my friend, bloody hell, is it that hard to accept I want to be your friend?"

Harry blinked at him, "yes."

"Where are you going?"

"Councillor's office. Everyone's staring." He murmured.

"Oi, fuck off!" Niall shouted, flapping his arms at them. "I'm coming with you." He added quietly so only Harry could here.

Harry tugged at his sleeves self-consciously, pushing through the crowd and through the double doors.

"Harry, are you alright?" Barbara asked.

"Can I stay in here the rest of today?"

"Of course you can sweetheart. Who's this?"

"I'm Niall." He told her, "friend of Harry's."

"That's wonderful. Just go to your usual room Harry."

"Thank you."

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" Niall offered kindly as they sat down. Harry shook his head in response.

"I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not. People who are alright don't hurt themselves."

"Whatever."

"Hey, I'm trying to help. If you talked to someone it might help."

"Don't wanna talk to anyone."

"So you just cut yourself instead?"

"Yes."

"I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. It won't get you anywhere."

Niall sighed, giving Harry a sad smile. "Well I'm always here if you need to talk."

"Thank you." Harry lay his head on the table.