Cherry- H.S

Treat People With Kindness.

    "When did you start feeling like this? You started feeling disconnected from the life you're living but when?" She asks, and I think back.

    "I was touring, and I had to leave for work. I left, and got swept up, and after the first week of working and being away from the people I love I started feeling drained, and down, and... and I was doing what I loved so I didn't really understand it.. I was working, I was writing music.. I was living out my dream, but I wanted to stop, and to leave, and to go back to my friends, and my boyfriend." I tell her, and she nods her head. "When I got back I thought it would be better, but throughout I still felt that same feeling.. That pit in my stomach, and everyone noticed it.. Most of them noticed it before I even did." I tell her truthfully.

    "Darlene, when was the last time you picked where you wanted to go to eat?" She asks, and the question confuses me instantly.

    "Um.. I don't... I don't know. I can't remember the last time." I tell her truthfully, knowing I normally just go along with the other plans that are already made. "I don't normally choose." I tell her.

    "When was the last time you had a day to yourself to do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, however you wanted?" She asks, and I freeze.

    "Same answer... I don't really.. I don't know, I just go with the flow, I do what everyone else in the friend group is doing. I don't make the plans... I had a writing day a few days ago.. I needed to get some songs finished so I sat at the piano, and I wrote by myself, and I chose to do that." I tell her.

    "But who were those songs for?" She asks, and my chest sinks a bit, knowing the answer.

    "Some artist somewhere.. They were for someone else." I tell her.

    "Maybe try to get out of the house alone sometimes, and do some of the things you love the most. Writing in a journal for just you to read... Things for just you and only you. I know that unfulfilled feeling inside can be overbearing sometimes but the more we do for ourself the better we feel.. It's okay to be a little self absorbed some days." She encourages me, and I shake my head.

    "I don't really have time to be self absorbed.. I have deadlines I have to follow and people to please, and I don't want to let anyone down if I mess it up." I tell her.

    "Have you always had a struggle with perfection? Chasing after that?" She asks, and the question hits me.

    "I don't... I don't think so.. I didn't really think that was attainable when I first met all these people; it wasn't even in the realm of things I wanted." I tell her honestly.

    "What changed?" She asks. She always sticks it with simple questions that open up to a world of possibilities for me.

    "When... When I met Harry, when I met all of them I knew I wasn't okay.. I was dealing with.. With loss, and self doubt, and a lot of other things that I didn't really understand, and they got better but when.. When I went through the break up I really saw myself for who I was.. I pitied myself too much, and I wallowed in music, and past feelings, mostly so I could write music, and.. Well I wasn't happy with how I handled things and... and I started to change it." I tell her.

    "What did you do?" She asks.

    "I traveled the world. I did what I wanted... I started to love everything I could, and appreciate everything I could. I stopped letting little things pass by unnoticed, and I stopped letting voices, big or small tell me things.. I felt successful, and I was praised for it. My friends all saw my change, and they thought it was groundbreaking. They all loved it... And I loved it too. I loved how everyone saw me too." I tell her.