my favorite color • reddie

l a b i n d a l a w a

The next day Eddie woke up, looking around hoping to see Richie, which he didn't. It was just him.

He looked at the clock on his nightstand; 11:36 am.

He laid in his bed staring up at his ceiling, hugging the pillow Richie had laid on. He smiled, replaying what had happened the night before in his head.  It was all he could think about really.

He couldn't help but smile like an idiot.

Nothing major had had happened between them, they just kissed and ended up cuddling. Even though it wasn't something crazy, it was still enough to send Eddie swooning.

• • • • •

"Ow." Eddie pulled away. Richie's glasses had fallen on his face again.

"Sorry." Richie laugh awkwardly, putting them back on. He leaned in and kissed Eddie only to have his glasses hit him in the face again.

Eddie grabbed them off Richie's face and put them on his nightstand.

"Better?" He smiled.

"I can't see you." Richie smiled, squinting.

• • • • •

Meanwhile Richie was back home, in his bed also thinking about last night, the memory not as sweet as it was for Eddie. For Richie this was something that sent him into a blend of raging emotion. He was angry, confused, scared and somehow still happy.

Time with Eddie was always something that made him happy, but only when it was happening. When he kissed him he felt like he had everything figured out, like he was on top of the world. But somehow, right after, he always ended up being tormented with guilt that he couldn't quite understand. Eddie made him feel so good but so terrible all at the same time.

Richie felt even worse for thinking this. He didn't want to blame Eddie, he couldn't. It wasn't his fault he couldn't figure himself out or that he was so confused.

He stared up at his ceiling, feeling a lump build up in his throat, his breathing got heavier and he started getting angrier. Hot tears slid down the side of his face.

Richie couldn't figure out why he was angry, which only made him angrier. He didn't know if it was because he spent an hour kissing a boy the night before or that he couldn't tell anyone about Eddie.

Then he thought he was maybe scared.

Would my family still love me? Would they kick me out? Would Beverly not want to be my friend anymore? Would Stan and Bill ?

He didn't think he would be able to handle the names and disrespect.

He'd always kind of known his whole life he wasn't straight but I didn't really hit him until he kissed Eddie. That confirmed everything.

He was scared he'd never be able to live a normal life.

Then the fear faded back into anger.

He wouldn't be able to live a normal life.

When he and Eddie got married, they wouldn't be able to live like other couples. It was the eighties and everyone hated anything that was different. Meaning he wouldn't be able to hold Eddie's hand while walking down the street. He wouldn't be able to hug or kiss him. He would have to spend the rest of his life hiding who he was, what he believed in, all of it. He'd have to hide Eddie.

• • • • •

Richie looked down at Eddie, who was peacefully asleep. He was cuddled up to him, his arm draped over Richie's stomach. Richie played with his hair, admiring the smaller boy. He liked how peaceful he looked and the soft snores he let out. His bottom lip was still a bit swollen from when Richie accidentally bit him.

"Ow," Eddie pulled away.

"Did I bite you?" Richie asked, embarrassed.

"Little bit." Eddie chuckled.

Another thing he liked about Eddie. He loved how even when he did something embarrassing, he'd make him feel like what he did wasn't really embarrassing, even if it was.

Richie checked the time on his watch and realized it was getting late. Eddie's mom could get home any minute and find them.

Richie started to slowly pull away from Eddie's grip. The smaller boy opened his eyes and groggily look up at him.

"Where are you going?" Eddie asked still half asleep.

"Go back to sleep." Richie whispered, pulling a blanket over him.

• • • • •

To Eddie, Sunday was going by so slow. He couldn't wait to go back to school to see Richie again. He wanted to be able to meet his friends and know more about him. He was more excited to not be alone at school anymore, he had someone to talk to and spend time with. Eating lunch alone was getting so boring to him, he was looking forward to having lunch with Richie and maybe even his friends.

For Richie, it was the complete opposite. He felt that Sunday was going by too fast. He'd spent most of the day in his bed, hoping that time would go by slower if he didn't do anything. He knew Eddie would want to spend time with him at school and he couldn't really blame him. They kissed the night before, he talked to him so sweetly and made him feel special. Of course he would want to spend more time with him, of course he'd feel more attached.

Richie had planned to avoid Eddie the next day. He didn't know how but he knew he was going to. In Richie's mind, he thought that if he spent too much time with Eddie people would start to get suspicious and somehow find out there was something between them. Of course this was far fetched, but that's just how paranoid he was.

TO CLEAR THE AIR

when i said 'normal life' I meant it as not being able to openly do things straight couples would do in public. same gender/lgbtq+ couples always have someone in their face about anything they do. in no way did i mean that same gender couples aren't normal. love should be normalized no matter what it looks like, two men, two women, DOESNT MATTER cuse at the end of the day it's just two people who love each other.