What He Left Behind

Fifteen

"Sorry, who was the first person to talk to you when you started at this school?" he asks, suddenly regaining the upper hand yet again, a talent which he has mastered to a tee. I do not even need to think to know the answer to the question. How could I possibly forget the day that this arrogant but somehow charming boy came into my life?

"That would be you Charlie," I sigh, rolling my eyes.

"Exactly, so you fucking mind yourself before you mind me," he barks before disappearing out of the library. I take a second to compose myself, having suddenly been made to feel as though all of the air has been sucked from my lungs, a feeling that I have grown familiar with since being around Charlie.

It frustrates me beyond belief that even when he's being a total ass, he still has this magnetic energy that draws me to him. It's extremely inconvenient, especially when I want to be mad at him.

Once I have caught my breath and got my nerves under control, I go back to the table where my friends are sat, my thoughts completely all over the place.

"Sorry about him, I don't know why he's being like that," I apologise.

"Don't worry about it. All he's done is make it even more obvious he fancies you," Tristan teases.

"He doesn't fancy me," I counter.

"And Tristan doesn't fancy Amber," Harlee rebuts sarcastically. Tristan smirks a little, embarrassed and I wonder if he and Amber will ever get together. They're perfect for each other and they act like a couple. Sure, Tristan may joke around about flirting with other girls, but unlike Charlie, he's not the slightest bit interested in anyone other than Amber. They're mad for each other and anyone can see it.

The topic of conversation soon changes to college applications and tuition fees, although I'm too preoccupied to pay much attention. For some reason, all I can think about is Charlie and how I may have fallen for him a bit harder than I thought. I know I swore I wouldn't get involved with someone with a catalogue of problems like his, but I feel I don't have much choice. Every moment I spend with him, my feelings get harder to ignore. I keep reminding myself it's a recipe for disaster and yet some small part of me can't help wondering if, and hoping that, he has feelings for me too.

---

Two weeks later, there is a party at Harvey and Adam's house that I am invited to. I am not keen on the idea at first. After all, I don't know many people in the band's social circles, not to mention the fact that everyone will be getting pissed, but eventually Charlie talks me round as he always does. I have never been good at saying no to him.

Straight after school, he, Stan and I go out to grab a bite to eat. On the way back, we stop at a dingy looking convenience store downtown. Charlie gives me strict orders to stay in the car with the doors locked which I guess is his strange way of showing he cares. I realise that's probably the most romance I'm going to get if anything does become of Charlie and I.

He and Stan don't take long, and when they get back, they are both carrying large crates of alcohol which they hastily stash in the back of the van. I don't know how Charlie manages to get hold of all this alcohol. He's only eighteen, three years away from being legally allowed to buy alcohol, but it seems I'm not the only person in this town that has problems saying no to him.

Once they have loaded the crates of alcohol into the van, Charlie gets into the driver's seat before taking a fat envelope from his pocket and passing it to Stan. I know from the way they glance awkwardly at each other, avoiding my gaze, what it is. My heart drops and that familiar sense of uneasiness rises in my chest, making me question whether going to the party is a good idea. If Charlie's going to spend the whole night snorting lines, I'll spend the whole week feeling like hell.