I love your scars {soukoku} TW⚠️

Part 3: panic

Dazai POV

Finally school is over and I'm mentally exhausted.  The new kid Chuuya had beautiful blue eyes, I couldn't stop staring at him. But I couldn't bring myself to say "hello", I don't want to lie to him. Every time I interact with a person I feel like I'm tricking them, manipulating them to believe that I'm happy, that I want to talk to them, that I want to be here. So everyday I paint on a smile and wait for the day that someone notices the pain I hide.

"Shit." I whispered. "I'm supposed to tutor Akutagawa today."

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I meet Akutagawa at the coffee shop I wrote on the note. When I got there he was already working on some homework. Since Akutagawa is actually pretty smart I just let him work on stuff until he gets stuck. So I got some tea and sat in silence next to him. ...Waiting ...and waiting,  people are starting to crowd the cafe. S~so many people. It's never usually this crowded. I can feel people staring me. Judging me! It wasn't my fault! I didn't ask for it!  LEAVE ME ALONE!

"...go.. a..way..." I whispered.

"Hmm?" Akutagawa hummed. He looked at me.
"Dazai. Are you ok?"
"I'll be right back." I said as I stood up and headed to the bathroom.

I open the door and I can feel the panic attack coming. Gasping for breath I can feel the walls closing in. I head to the largest stall and curl up in the corner. Almost innately my hand starts for the buttons on my shirt, one by one I unbutton it to reach for my bandages. CONTROL! That's the only thing I need, so I start to reopen some old wounds (literally). I can feel the hot tears coming from my eyes. The panic starts to make me freeze up until I am unable to move anymore, except for the uncontrollable shaking that has taken over my body. I feel so helpless, so stupid. I faintly hear the door to the bathroom open. I tried to call out for help but all I could manage were a few whimpers. I close my eyes and give into the dark that constantly haunts the back of my mind.

"Oi! Dazai! I know you're in here! We need to talk!"

Chuuya POV

I know he's in here why isn't he answering? I'll check the stalls then.
1. No
2. No
3. No
4. The last one so he has so be in here.
*knock knock* "Oi. Daz-" I realized the door is not locked. Should I? More like "dare I". Taking a chance Chuuya pushes on the door.

3rd person POV

Chuuya stumbled back in shock of what he was seeing.
"Oh my god." The redhead shook out breathlessly.
"Dazai. What the hell did you do you?"

Blue eyes scanned over the trembling ball. Dazai had his legs held tightly to his chest and his forehead on his knees. After a couple moments of shock Chuuya rushed to Dazai's side. He wasn't quite sure what to do, he noticed the intense trembling so he did the first thing that came to mind. The redhead bent down and held him. Whispering calming things in his ear and slowly stroking the brunettes rich dark hair. Slowly, Dazai calms down. Once he could move again he struggled to wrapped his arms around Chuuya. The two stayed that way even after the panic slowly vanished. Dazai lifted his head slightly to be able to whisper weakly in Chuuya's ear.

"H~hello."