Call it What You Want

12 - Like I'm Brand New

"Double shot?" I asked reaching for it.

Natalie nodded yes. "Rough night?"

"Worst in a long time." I locked the car, shoved my keys and phone into my pocket, and took a long sip of coffee.

"So what happened last night?" Natalie asked.

"Well," I began. We walked along the sidewalk, and I dove into my explanation of last nights events.

By the time I finished talking, we made it around the block three times. I looked to Natalie to see if I could tell what she was thinking. She didn't interrupt my story once. Finally, she asked, "Do you love her?"

I was caught off guard by the question but didn't pause for a moment before answering, "Yes, absolutely."

"Well, isn't that what we're doing this for now? So, you had to tell her eventually. We both knew that would have to happen. I think we just thought it would be after the CIA got the device. At least she got to hear it from you, and from what you say it seems to have gone okay."

"I suppose. I was so afraid of losing her. Still am," I admitted. That was the risk of the job. The life we all had.

"I can't tell you that you shouldn't be afraid. We have no idea what will happen when and if the CIA gets the device. I'm afraid too. The only thing that gets me through the fear is the hope of a different life. A better life."

We stared at the now empty cups in our hands unsure of what to say next.
I checked my phone for the time and then pulled out my car keys. "Well, I had better get going. I've got a fun evening planned. Nat, thanks for everything."

"And thank you. Hope to see you back in London soon."

I waved goodbye as I drove to my next stop of the day: Taylor's mom's place. I hadn't told her that I would be stopping by, so I desperately hoped that she would be home.

Kitty ran up to my car barking when I parked in the driveway. "Joe!" Taylor's mom smiled at me. "Back so soon?" She looked around as if waiting for Taylor to emerge from the car.

"Oh, it's just me. Taylor had a meeting today. I actually came to talk to you."

"Please come inside!" She ushered me inside, and Kitty followed closely behind. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

I sat down at the kitchen table. "No thank you, I just ate."

Andrea poured us both glasses of water anyway before sitting down. "Did you enjoy your day in Nashville?"

"Yeah, the city is so lively! I went Centennial Park and the Country Music Hall of Fame," I replied.

"Oh that's one of my favorite places."

I nodded, unsure of where to take the conversation next. Andrea must have noticed my hesitation because she added, "I'm guessing that's not why you drove out here to talk though."

She was right. I couldn't keep up the small talk, so I asked what I wanted to know, "Can I ask Taylor to marry me?" I watched as the expression on her face went from excited to uncertain. She wanted to say yes but was held back by what I assumed to be her knowledge of Taylor's involvement with the CIA. At this point, she didn't know that I knew. "Before you say anything, I want you to know that I love Taylor more than anyone or anything in this world. I promise to take care of her, to respect her and her career, and to let her have all the cats she wants. And since this is probably weighing on you, I know about her work with the CIA. We had a very long conversation about it last night. Taylor told me that you are the only other person who knows."