Nirvana - Sequel to "I've Always Been Around" (Camren)

Chapter 10: Acceptance

*Lauren's P.O.V*

There was a small knock on my door which drew me from my thoughts. My alarm clock flashed 11:03pm, which meant I had spent many hours just staring at my blank ceiling letting my mind consume me. The small, shadowed figure stepped into my room and I recognized her scent instantly as they sent my hormones into overdrive like she always did.

"Taylor let me in." she mumbled, making her way to the foot of my bed.

I just blinked at her, not saying a word.

"These are for you," she mumbled again, shoving a bouquet of assorted daisies, roses, and daffodils at me.

Taking them gently from her I inhaled slightly, letting their sweet scent mix with hers. They looked like a mess, much like her hair and makeup stained face. Somehow she was still the most mesmerizing thing to me.

"Thank you." I murmured softly.

As I got up to set them on my dresser, Camila lept at the opportunity to wrap her skinny arms around my waist and burying her face into my neck. "I love you." she cooed, being muffled by my hair.

Her soft lips gracefully danced across my skin. I craned my neck to give her lips more room to wander, all of my frustration disappearing. She took the flowers leisurely from my grasp and placed them gently on the bed side table, then let her lips to attach to mine.

Our lips moved in sync. Suddenly all my cares had disappeared, she left me breathless. She caressed my face as we slowly fell backwards onto the bed.

"I love you," I whispered tenderly, not wanting to fracture the force field we had built around us.

"I love you," Camila whispered back, pulling away enough to stroke my eyebrow. "You're so beautiful Lauren."

I felt tears well up in my eyes, as her deep brown orbs met mine. No one had ever seemed so genuine with those words than she. Her fingers quickly ran down my cheek to catch the few tears that had escaped my lids. She kissed my lips softly once more before rolling off of me, propping herself up on her side to face me.

"Princesses shouldn't cry, my darling." Camz said with a quirky little grin. I couldn't help but giggle. "Want to talk about what happened earlier?" she pried slightly.

I sighed knowing that this conversation with her was inevitable. Trying to gather my thoughts, I finally managed to tell her. "Like you now know, when I Luis and I broke up your house was the first place I went. I was angry and frustrated and I went over there and took advantage of the fact you're always there for me and that fact I knew you would just fall into me if I made a move. Deep down I knew I wanted you but I didn't want to admit it to myself. After I ran our of your house, I sort of had a mental break down at home. I destroyed my entire room. I didn't know what to think, what to say, what to feel; I let all of my pent up emotions and hidden desires release themselves. Due to this, Mom started making me go to a therapist and I now take mood stabilizers. I've gotten a lot better, that's why my dosage is getting lowered. I just didn't know how to tell you, I didn't want you to blame yourself."

"But it is my fault." Camila mumbled.

I shook my head, "No baby, It's not. Just because I didn't want to admit to myself how I felt about you does not mean everything was your fault."

She nodded, seemingly accepting the fact that there was nothing she could do.

"I just didn't want to admit the inevitable, I still don't want to but I have to." I breathed. She cocked an eyebrow at me, making her unspoken confusion known. "I'm gay, Camila. I know I've always insisted otherwise and I'd always get so upset when the subject got brought up but I am and there's nothing I can do about it. And you know what? I'm happy that I'm slowly coming to terms with myself. I can honestly say this is the happiest I've been in a long time, and it's all thanks to you."