Forget me | Yenyul

XXXV: Denial

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"Wahhh ... look at this one, isnt it cute?" I shaked my head as she kept on pointing at random cute stuff. In this pace she'd be buying for herself.

"How about buying her a plushie instead" she had second thoughts but nodded anyways. "

We ended up going to three stores, and Minju still hasnt picked anything yet. This girl is really ... ahhh!!!

"Just pick anything. She'll appreciate anything you give her" she shaked her head and went all around the store.

"How about this one?" She was holding a big Moomin stuffed toy. "Ok let's do that" She happily held it and hugged it while we walked to the counter.

"No, wait ..." she gave me the stuffed toy. "... How about this one instead" she was holding a dog plushie this time. I actually like the Moomin one, it's cuter.

"Wait ... wait, No. Hold this for me" she gave me the dog plushie as I went to the side and took a cart. She might end up giving me ten toys.

Who's this person that's recieving this anyways?

"Look Yuri, How about this one?" She kept on showing me a bunch of Plushies as I just put them in the cart.

"Minju~! The cart's full, are you really buying all this?" She stopped and nodded happily. I just followed her as she chose a lot more plushies.

"Ok this is the last one. How about ... this one!" She showed me a duck plushie. "No, I dont like it"

"Then i'm totally buying this! Since we started shopping this is the first time you'd say no" Why does it have to be that duck plushie anyways. "Dont buy it, that bear is more cute"

"Why? does it remind you of Yena unnie?" What!? Psh ... No! It doesnt. "No! Why even bring her up?"

"See ... you clearly miss her. Just accept this duck plushie. I'm only buying two, one for you and one for me" so, there's no birthday? She set this all up just to make me leave the house.

"You ... you're doing this to help me, right?" She nodded. "Did it work?"

"

No, the duck plushie ruined it" she giggled. "Your eyes tell me that you love it, you miss her?"

"No" Yes, I do. I really do. But I cant do anything about it. Yena unnie didnt really leave did she? She just said all those words just to make me go to her. She wont be going to Japan ... I know it.

Yena unnie loves me so she wont leave. Wait a minute ... what am I even thinking? I want her to leave,  yes. That's it Yuri, you want her to leave.

It's good that she's leaving, I dont miss her. You do. No I dont!

We payed for the plushies and left the store. Our trip home was quiet but I wanted to thank Minju for helping me.

"Thank you" she looked at me and tilted her head. "For what?"

"For diverting my attention for a few hours" she smiled as we became quiet again.

We arrived home and ate along with the others. I went back to my room as Nako unnie was still downstairs.

I stared at the duck plushie that Minju bought me. "Yena, Yena, Yena ... hmmm. I'll name you Duckie" I have no idea why I started saying her name but it madr me feel at ease for some reason.

"Duckie! Would you like to stay with me until I get mentally better?" The door suddenly opened revealing Minju. "I knew you missed her"

"No I dont. This is Duckie not Yena unnie" she laughed. "Stop denying it, It's super obvious" she said as she walked to her room.

"I'm not denying anything. I dont want her, maybe not now but someday"

Denial? Why would I deny that? If I miss her then i'll call her and beg for something. But I wont do that.

I opened my phone and saw all the messages that Yena unnie sent me before. Its been a while since I saw her messages. When you look at your previous messgae that doesnt mean that you miss them ... right?

This isbjust turning me crazy.

Sleep. That's right sleep ...

Remember when Yena unnie hugs you to sleep every night? You always liked her hugs. And sometimes you hug her first then she makes that 'hmmmm' sound that soothes you whenever your anxious. Dont you miss that? Why did you have to push her away?

Wha-what? Actually I dont feel like sleeping anymore. How about ... watching videos on the internet. That could ease my boredom, yes.

I opened my phone and searched for videos to watch. But none of them got my attention, it felt like a never ending search for a perfect video.

Why dont you just watch the video that she sent you before? You always liked that. Watch it ... you know you want to.

Sometimes this voice in my head can be so annoying but I have no reason to be angry because it's my thoughts. Most of the time I just ignore it but right now it ... ughh!!

I went to watch the video of Yena unnie introducing her new phone. It was way back when we were in Jeju. She used to send me videos of her and Juri playing or working. Or just any random thing.

"Choi Yena ... What have you done to me?!"