"More than what I Prayed for"

More than Enough

It was in July, 2001. I just turned 21 the month before that. Gwyneth was 2 months old and about 2 weeks.

We were packing. We finally decided to go back to Manila to grant our relatives’ request back there that we come back home.

I will have to rent a house. I cannot stay in the same house where I grew up. My ex shouldn’t know when I’m back, he would disturb my peace. He would require to see the baby. And slowly, he would try again to get back with me. Which I won’t allow to happen. I’ve tasted peace, I’ve had freedom and I’ll hold on to that. I will never let anyone take it away from me now. Never.

We boarded the bus that night. The baby on my mom’s lap in a carrier.

I stared blankly outside the window, nothing much for sightseeing. It was dark, and pitch black. I felt the need to talk to Him. "Dear God, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring and what awaits us in our destination but I will give all my trust in You. I know that you will never leave our side. Take care of my baby, my little angel. Thy will be done dear God. Thy will be done."

The travel time was surprisingly shorter than expected. It was still dark when we arrived at the bus terminal in Manila. I dragged the huge bag we had towards the seats in the waiting area. I stop every now and then when I feel the stiches I’ve had during the operation getting stressed. I still feel a slight pain inside. We waited for about 2 hours before we got fetched by a relative.

It was a warm welcome in my grandfather’s house (my mom’s dad). Everyone’s excited to see the baby, we got visitors that same day and the days that followed. They were all happy to see my baby girl. A lot of them though were not able to hold back their thought about how the baby looked. That she doesn’t resemble any of me. But I didn’t care. She came from me. She is my child.

The baptism took place a few days after. With only a few visitors and a simple celebration. What’s important is that she has been welcomed in the Christian world.

It didn’t take long before we found an apartment for me and the baby. It was near the house of a few relatives so that they can assist me and visit me everyday.My mom taught me how to change the diaper, and how to prepare her milk. Mom always visits me, especially that she never trusted me in bathing the baby alone. She and my sister also sleeps over so often. I never felt that it was difficult.

My dad was so generous and kind. He pays for my monthly rental fee. His sisters, (my aunts) sends supplies for the baby like milk, diapers, vitamins and even money for the monthly check up and vaccination. I never lacked anything. I’ve had abundant of what we needed. I wasn’t able to thank God enough for all the blessings.

Gwyneth learned how to speak before she even learned how to walk straight. We can’t even remember if she baby talked. I believe she did not. It was awesome. She can say the name of object showed beside the alphabet, it was clear. She recognized and memorized it well. Of course she cannot read yet, but she spoke so clearly even before she got trained to not wear a diaper. She was such a darling.

It was 2002 when I went back to school. I promised my myself that I will finish college so that I can get a nice job and work immediately after. I need to provide for my family, for my child. In this way also, I can make up for all the disappointments that I’ve caused my parents.

That same year, my mom and sister moved in with me so that mom can take care of the baby full time while me and my sister goes to school. I’ve never been so happy. I felt like I’ve had all the energy I need to move forward, the inspiration and the motivation.

I just didn’t realize that too much freedom and comfort can be a little distracting...

Somehow, I lost focus. Too much of anything is not so good. New challeges awaits.

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