Black Rose

Chapter 29

"Stop sulking Gulf" Mild said trying to hide how much he was enjoying this."The man feels guilty, you almost lost your life saving his dog, this is the least he could do"

Boat watched his boyfriend lie through his teeth and rolled his eyes. He looked in the rear view mirror to make sure Gulf wasn't looking and mouthed out "You're meddling" to Mild.

Mild shrugged his shoulders, he didn't care he had seen how Gulf and Mew had looked at each other back in the hospital, he knew Mew made Gulf feel something, they just needed to find out what. If it was hate? He would drop it but if not Mew would probably be the only new friend Gulf had made in years, well besides Boat.

"You know how much I hate interacting with outside people, I don't know why you didn't just back me up like always " Gulf complained, Mild had practically encouraged Suppasit to take care of him.

"You'll get to spend time with the dog as well" Mild reminded him.

"Chopper Mild, his name is Chopper" Gulf grunted but he was right at least he would get to be with Chopper who for some reason knew how to calm him without even trying. Mild had requested 3 days off work for him, which meant he had to go and do the work himself leaving Gulf alone, which then caused Mew to remind Mild in front of everyone how he shouldn't be alone for 3 days according to the doctors, he had then volunteered to take care of him.

Gulf had said no without hesitation at first but then Mild threatened to keep him in the hospital, since he had already promised he wouldn't be alone and was already changing his mind.
Bright had been furious saying he could do it but Mild had pointed out how upset his boss was that he had already cancelled on important clients before, and Saint had to work as well. So now he was caught in this awkward situation.

Like a child Mild would drop him off in the mornings and pick him up after work. Mew had also suggested they could work on the case together so Gulf wouldn't feel unproductive. He hated it, hated that it made sense, hated that he had to be in a strangers home and hated that he actually felt a little excited. He groaned out loud.

"Gulf, you're really acting like a kid" Mild said "I'll stop by your place tomorrow before I pick you up to get some clothes for you"

Gulf looked out the window, he had seen Mew's satisfaction when he realized Gulf had no other choice and that bothered him. Gulf kept people at bay for a reason, they didn't like how broken he was, he rather just not deal with them, that way if they walked away it wouldn't hurt.

He leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes.

****Flashback****

"I don't want to be with you anymore" Jimmy said exasperated, Gulf felt like he had been punched in the gut.

"Why?" He asked not letting how painful those words had been show

"Why?!WHY?!?!?" He screamed "this is exactly why! I get that your parents died and I'm sorry but you need to move on, I'm so tired of the sleepless nights of your episodes of having to take care of you constantly" he sighed " I'm young I want to go out and have fun, enjoy myself!" He looked at Gulf with disdain.

"But you! All you do is mope around! You don't want to go out and enjoy life, we can't go to any parties or hang out with any new friends, you tense up if I try to hold you or kiss you making me feel like a dam pervert for wanting a hug from my boyfriend!!" He was yelling again he just couldn't calm down it's like it was all pouring out " those little friends of your can touch you but me your boyfriend can't how ridiculous is that!!!"

Gulf tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He didn't know what to say, Jimmy was right, he wasn't the same as before, he couldn't be with strange people because he began overthinking their actions, he hated to be touched by others because it would cause horrible flashbacks, he couldn't help the episodes that overtook him because of the nightmares, the more Gulf thought about it the more he was surprised Jimmy had stayed this long "You're right I'm sorry" he finally said.

Jimmy looked at him and scoffed " Sorry? Sorry doesn't give me back the months I've wasted babying you Gulf" he walked to the table and grabbed his keys " you're broken and no one wants to deal with all that drama you carry around, it's just a burden" and with that he walked out.

***Flashback ends***

He had carried those words with him. From that day on he didn't show any emotion, not even if he felt uncomfortable by the situation, he drowned himself in his studies and then later on in his work. He kept away from others not caring whether they liked him or not, he wasn't going to burden anyone else. He had tried to push the guys away as well but they had not budged they stuck to him no matter what he did, he decided he would be a part of their lives until they no longer wanted him and would then let go. He didn't really care if he died or lived he was just there taking space. He opened his eyes and looked out the window the night sky here in the city was nothing compared to the one out there, the shine of the stars had been dimmed by the city lights, but no one cared, no one would care if one more star lost its shine and vanished.

Later that night....

He looked at the clock on night stand next to the empty bed 3:41am. He didn't come back, he felt frustration surge through him, he had watched them leave for a little trip right before his shift began. He cursed his stupid boss for changing his schedule, because of that he wasn't able to join them on the trip, oh he would've loved it, love to see his Kana in a different setting, maybe they could travel to the beach later once he finished writing him the love letters, he giggled.

He looked at the empty bed and frowned, well he would see him tomorrow, no biggie one day was nothing. He rolled his eyes at the time, he had an early shift and had decided to come anyway. But his sleepless night were worth it if it meant he got to see the man he loved! He had already picked a new model, he laughed, gullible just like the others easy to read, but there was no need to rush. He had to get her routine right, he couldn't afford any mistakes! He didn't want anyone coming between him and Kana.