Desolation Row [MxM]

Chapter 18 + Author's Note

Graduation came in June. I'd had just about an entire month of time either spent in school or with Joel, when he didn't have work. Almost all our spare time was used in talking to each other, but a subject that was always carefully avoided was “us”. What were we even doing? Did he like me? He mentioned before that he was straight, but there was always a possibility. Or was I just some kind of weird, drug-induced fling?

Why did I mind so much? Why did it matter? I briefly wondered what my own feelings were, for him, but it didn't exactly take a genius to figure out I liked him. I wasn't even surprised by the revelation. The thought just seemed to come naturally, by that point. There wasn't some huge shocked reaction. There wasn't any period of denial about it. It was just so simple.

On graduation day, Charlie was there, and Joel had even taken the day off work to see Brielle, Austin, and myself walk across the stage in caps and gowns that were entirely too heavy for the hot weather. I had a pretty big sense of pride at being able to graduate when I was supposed to.

Charlie offered to take Joel and I out to eat afterward, but Joel insisted on paying for his own food.

I was so happy that he'd stayed clean. He even continued getting better, after rehab. Sure, every now and then he had moments where he was irritable, or got frustrated, but that was everyone. I would rather his anger be induced by something like ignorant customers than lack of drugs or alcohol.

After eating, it was time for Charlie to go to work, so Joel and I decided to go to the hill again, instead of going home. We were sitting back on Joel's car like we used to, me leaning back against his chest as I ran my fingers across the birds on his arm with a strange sense of fascination.

A while ago, I didn't think this would be possible. While both of us were sober, at least. For some time I was so worried about losing Joel, about suddenly getting a call that he was dead or something. I didn't like that feeling. I didn't want to constantly think about where he was, or what he was doing.

As much as I loved sitting in moderate silence with Joel though, there were a few things that I felt needed to be ironed out, between us. “So, what now?” I asked quietly.

Joel hummed at that, taking a second before replying. “I don't know. I guess you should go to college, right? Maybe find one close to Lakeview, so you can be near those friends of yours again. I kinda liked Sophie, she grows on you.”

I wasn't able to keep myself from tensing a little. He didn't care if I stayed or not, did he? I shrugged the feeling off though, figuring it wasn't the time to get upset. If Joel didn't want me to stick around, that was fine. “What about you?”

“Get my shit together, mostly,” he replied, snorting as he shrugged. I went quiet after that, reaching down to bring Joel's arm into my lap as I started playing with his fingers, wiggling them around or running my own fingers against them softly. Eventually though, I wasn't able to help myself.

“I'd miss you, if I went back. To Lakeview.”

I got a heavy snort in response to that, and I hesitated before looking up, frowning. “What, you seriously thought I meant alone?” he asked incredulously, shaking his head. “Come on. I went to rehab for your ass. You're not getting rid of me that easily.”

I started to smile at that, but I pushed it down as I sat up a little, turning to look at Joel better. “Wait a second, I thought you said you were straight.”

“I am straight,” he replied. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged a little again. “What, straight people can't have exceptions?”

“So I'm an exception to you.”

“Well now you're just getting mouthy again, that's what you are.” Joel muttered, reaching up to wrap his arms around me, pulling me back against his chest. I tried not to smile, but it was too hard, so in the end I just settled for turning to press against him, exhaling at the feeling of warmth.

Joel didn't want me to leave. He wanted to come with me, if I went to Lakeview. It was a nice feeling, knowing that someone wanted to be with you, even if it meant moving somewhere they weren't used to. I did need to look into college though. Schools would probably be pretty picky, given my Junior year grades.

I had a good feeling though. It'd work out.

And it did. For five years. I started college the following fall, to get a teaching degree. After that, we moved into a tiny apartment in Lakeview, where I started teaching math to Freshman. It took Joel two years to get his GED before he started doing online college courses, and he still worked as a waiter in a nearby restaurant.

I was finishing up lesson plans one day, going around my room and putting things away, just generalized straightening up. A knock on my door made me look up, expecting to see one of the other teachers, but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Joel, leaning against the doorway. “Just give me a minute,” I told him, smiling a little as I tried to finish quickly. He waited patiently in his spot, the November chill making going anywhere without a jacket almost impossible as I grabbed mine and flipped the lights off.

We walked down through the halls to the main entrance, Joel reaching over to grab my hand and wiggle his fingers in between mine. “I was thinking something Italian, for dinner. We could order. Or go to Olive Garden, I like their soda,” he said thoughtfully. I frowned a little, turning to him.

“You hate Italian. And Olive Garden, minus the soda.”

“I do, I hate Olive Garden with a burning passion,” he agreed, nodding. “But it's your favorite. And we're celebrating.”

I frowned more at that, completely confused. “Celebrating what, why are we celebrating?”

Joel had the nerve to get a shocked expression on his face, looking at me like I'd caused the end of the world. “You don't know? The engagement, of course.”

I rolled my eyes a little at the dramatics. “What engagement? Who's engaged? And why didn't I know about it?”

Joel just laughed, opening the door for me to walk out ahead of him and squint up at the sunlight. I wasn't prepared for him to reach forward and pull me against him, leaning down to kiss me softly. I could feel his hands behind me, moving and doing something before he grabbed one of mine and started playing with my fingers. It didn't exactly register, what he was doing, until he pulled back a little and raised my left hand up. “We are.”

After five years of being with Joel, I got used to a few things. One of those being his inability to take certain things seriously. Which would explain why there was a ring pop sitting on my ring finger. “Joel. That is a ring pop.”

“Your observational skills are still top-notch, I see.”

“You are not proposing with a ring pop.”

“I am most definitely proposing with a ring pop,” he answered, snorting a little. “There's an actual ring, don't get me wrong. But it's not ready yet, and I didn't want to wait. So. Next best thing. Ring pop.”

We looked at each other for a few seconds, Joel's arms still wrapped around my middle as I held my left hand up between us. “You're assuming I'll say yes,” I told him.

“Baby, I know you'll say yes.”

“You assume, and you know what they say about assuming—”

“It makes an ass out of blah, blah, blah, something, something,” he cut in, leaning forward to kiss me again. I sighed quietly against his mouth, feeling his arms wrap around me a little tighter before he pulled back after a second. “So, what's your answer?”

I nodded before I was able to speak, breathing out a tiny “yes” as Joel smiled. “Good, because I already told everyone about it. Including Charlie.”

I wasn't even able to find it in myself to be the slightest bit angry as he pressed out mouths back together.

____________________________________________________________________________

A/N: Was this story ending super rushed? You bet your ass it was. It was supposed to be a nice, short little fluffy story for winter break, so. BUT, story's all done! Hope you guys liked it, and don't forget to vote and comment and all that fun stuff.

Thanks guys!