Nobility [Kylo Ren]

VIII

My door was shut tightly while I paced.

It was a new day but all I could do was relive what happened yesterday. His kiss and how I felt his lips slightly part as he did it, longing for more. I knew he was coming, I could feel his very existence in my bones. 

I felt like I was losing myself in this. Before I arrived on the Starkiller base, I had hopes of living in my own palace filled with beautiful art and statues. I assumed I would continue the diplomacy and inherit my father's career in politics and have a secured life. Although it wouldn't be the life I live in my daydreams, I could still have lavish gardens and parties. It was as if that goal was all for naught now. 

Kylo Ren made me question everything. Everything that felt real; my home, the war, the First Order, the galaxy, that garden. All that felt like it was within the conceptual reach of my mind was him and that kiss.

My door slid open quickly, making me jump. 

He was there, standing in my doorway. I looked at him, horrified. He was once again adorned in his long robes and metal mask. I blinked at him, unable to speak. I was unsure if he showed up to intimidate me or kiss me again.

"Why-" I asked before being cut off.

"I was ordered to do daily visitations with you." He reminded me blankly, no emotion exuding. 

"Oh, yes..." I hung on my words while I sat down. 

There wasn't much to do during these visitations. It seemed like a way to make sure I haven't made my grand escape yet, but it was Kylo Ren, and he could have been reading my mind at any given time. I wondered if he still sensed me. 

"Do you need to wear your helmet here? After yesterday, I don't see much of a point." I let out an awkward chuckle, attempting to make things less uncomfortable.

He lifted his hands to the sides of his mask, the airlock hissing open. As he removed it, his dark waves fell around his face. He didn't look as polished as usual; his eyes had darker circles around them, his hair clearly wasn't brushed, and his jaw was held taught. I fidgeted, realizing that seeing him made the tension worse.

Kylo Ren's upper back was a bit hunched, leaning closer to me. He was absolutely huge, a massive man who could trample me at any moment. My fingers tangled with each other, struggling with having to lock my desires in my heart.

I kept disagreeing with myself. I was aware of what my heart, body, and hands wanted to do, but I couldn't. I knew this was wrong.

"Commander, I don't think what happened yesterday should happen again." I said, shyly. 

Statuesque, he didn't move.

I continued, "That kiss... It was a mistake." 

Before I could go on, he grabbed my hand. The warm leather ground against my skin. Pulling me closer in one swift motion, his other hand managed its way up to my face. He touched my cheek lightly, fingers grazing my cheekbones.

"You didn't understand me when I told you I could sense you?" He spoke through gritted teeth.

He stepped forward, walking me until my back was to a wall. I was being cornered and my confidence was melting away. His figure was incredibly large, by far the tallest man I'd ever met.

"I told you the truth yesterday. This feeling is real, we are somehow connected. I must know how." He demanded.

My fight or flight response happened to not be working, I just stood there with my back against the wall, terrified. I managed to squeak out a response.