𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦//𝐌.𝐋.𝐌

𝑻𝒆𝒏-𝑨𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝑭𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌

It had been a couple days since my mum had passed away. No one really talked to each other, it was always quiet. Mentally, I wasn't doing too good, but I had to stay strong for now.

"I'm going to work." My dad called from the hallway. I was still in bed.
"K." I shouted down to him.
I was pretty sure that my brother was still asleep too.

Eventually, I got up to make breakfast. I thought it would be nice to surprise James with breakfast in bed so I got to work on making some pancakes.
I stacked the six little pancakes on two plates, we had three each.

As it was midday, I kind of expected my brother to come rushing downstairs. He normally does when he smells food cooking, but he doesn't. He never did.

Once I had finished playing it all up, I started up the stairs to his bedroom. I left my plate downstairs. I wanted to eat alone.

When I got to his door, I knocked twice. There was no response so I knocked twice again, this time calling his name after. Again, no response.

"Ok, I'm coming in." I said, barging through his door.

My eyebrows furrow when I walk in and find the room empty. I place the plate down on his dest looking around his room. His bed was made all nice and neat but placed on top of it was a piece of paper.

Confused, I walk over to James' bed and unfold the note.

If you are reading this, I am sincerely sorry.
When mum died, I felt like my whole world had just ended and I didn't know how to stop my hurt.
I didn't know how to survive something that made me feel so weak and numb.

So I'm sorry but this was my choice.
James x

Tears now dappled across the piece of paper. Why? Why? That was all I could think but I knew why. He had explained but it wasn't enough for me.

I called my dad right after I had found out. My hands were shaking and I couldn't strong one sentence together. He came home immediately and called the police.
Later they found his body in a river.

I never ate those pancakes. I didn't eat properly for the next year, which is why Willow is so protective.

It broke me into a million little pieces but I had to pick them all up again and keep going. For the sake of those who care about me, especially my dad.