| Chapter XI

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"Come on, Shimmer," I said.
And then, Shimmer started walking gently.
I was still waiting for Shimmer to go wild and try to throw me off, but it didn't happen. I could hear Will and Old Bob whispering, but soon it was just background noise. I saw Will opening the fence gate, so I led Shimmer to the opening and tapped again with my heels. I felt every move of Shimmer, every muscle, as if we were one. It was so beautiful, and it gave me a feeling of being free. I mean, I've never really mounted a horse, but I just instinctively knew what to do. Shimmer did know what to do too. Then I tapped his ribs again, gently.
"Take him out," Will said, "and watch what he really can!"
The tap in Shimmer's ribs had turned the pony on. Suddenly, without a push, he started running as fast as the wind. His short legs were going so fast that I couldn't see them anymore. I leaned over Shimmer's neck and looked between his ears. I was standing in the stirrups as I let out a yell of excitement. I mean, I've never felt more excited than this.
I gently led Shimmer to the forest and felt how Shimmer instantly replied to my command. And then, we were racing through the forest. I tried to lead Shimmer so we could avoid trees and branches, but it just went too fast.
And then a tree appeared in front of me. But instead of running into the tree, Shimmer avoided the tree and ran on. Shimmer whinnied a little and turned his head to me.
"Don't look at me," I said. "Just enjoy it!"
     We exited the forests after we made a long circle and we reached the grass fields around the buildings of Old Bob. Slowly, I stood in the stirrups and spread my arms. I shouted in excitement and then heard Heidi barking, joining the excitement from the distance. "This is amazing!" I shouted. "The wind in my face!"
Before us, I could see a log. So, I led Shimmer that way and whispered: "Let's see how high you can jump!"
And before I could finish my sentence, Shimmer had neighed in excitement which was followed by a high jump of Shimmer. I was standing in the stirrups as I felt him jumping up and coming back on the ground.
"How long can you run like this?" I asked Shimmer.
Longer than you think, Shimmer replied.
"I see!" Then I led Shimmer back to the paddock and dismounted Shimmer. I needed a moment to proceed what had happened, but, boy, I was enjoying this! I lay one hand on Shimmer's muscled neck and cleared my throat. I smiled at Will and said: "Never knew this was so fun to do!"
Will laid one hand on my shoulder and agreed: "It is! You did well! You can instinctively react to your horse's movements."
I nodded and hugged Shimmer. "You're awesome!" I said.
Old Bob tapped my shoulder and said: "Now, let me show you what he can do more!"
That morning and afternoon Old Bob showed me all tips and tricks that he had taught Shimmer. And to be honest, I was amazed at what Shimmer could do! I mean, I never thought he could trick enemies by pressing his feet hard to the ground so it would look like I am still on his back when in reality, I am off his back.
I had such an amazing time at Old Bob's, and I was getting used to his cackles. And I noticed that I would miss such a likable man. I mean, you cannot not like Old Bob, right? He is so friendly and open-hearted. I should be more like him.
"What are you looking at?" Will asked me.
I was sitting outside, looking at the sun that would go down soon and color the sky red and orange, and even purple and pink. "Just thinking about all I've done today," I simply answered.
"What do you think about Shimmer?" Will asked.
"He's awesome!" I instantly replied. I realized I really meant it. "I mean, Old Bob trained him so well! And all those tricks, Will! It's just so unbelievably cool!"
"He's cool indeed," Will agreed. He looked at the sun going down and then said: "We'll leave soon, okay?" He stood up but turned back to me and said: "Oh, before I forget. Old Bob takes his time to say bye to Shimmer, so give him his time."
I nodded. "I'll give him time." I looked back at the sun.
"Oh, and there's something else too," Will said. He came to sit beside me again and cleared his throat. "What was happening earlier when you were so nervous, sitting on Shimmer's back?" he suddenly asked.
Without turning my head, I placed my hands behind me on the ground and leaned on them. "I was just nervous." I don't know what has caused me to have panic attacks or the start of them, but I was sure that there was no cure to them. There must have been something from the past that has caused this, but I didn't know what.
Will raised an eyebrow and I finally turned to him. "Fine!" I said. "I was just so nervous for getting hurt. I mean, I've hidden my feelings my whole life so no one will get to know my weaknesses. And it was pretty hard to calm down. It's just physical pain, I know. I shouldn't exaggerate so much."
Will nodded and said: "It's alright. We're all afraid sometimes. But some people are more than others. What are you afraid of most?"
Without hesitating and with closed eyes, so Will wouldn't see my feelings reflected in my eyes, I answered: "Losing everything I love."
Will chuckled nervously and said with a soft voice: "I know what you mean, kiddo."
After that being said, I opened my eyes again. The next hour we were watching the sunset.
Will cleared his throat. "I know a poem. One I've once heard someone telling me. Wanna hear it?"
I nodded my head.
"Okay, it goes like this: Nature's fist green is gold, her hardest hue to hold —"
"Her early leaf's a flower, but only so an hour," I finished.
Will smiled and continued. "Then leaf subsides to leaf, so Eden sank to grief."
"Then dawn goes down to day," I went on.
"Nothing gold can stay," we both finished.
Will chuckled. "So, you know it?"
"Yeah," I said. "It's only that I have never figured out what it means."
"I know," Will announced. He added: "It means that nothing, especially that which is perfect and beautiful, can last forever."
"Are you indirectly saying that I have to let go, sometimes?" I asked with a frown.
Will nodded. "I see it in your eyes. Your parents. You're still holding on to them. Silver, sometimes holding on hurts more than letting go. Let that be a lesson." He left me sitting there watching the sunset. Maybe he was right. I knew he was right. But yet, I wasn't ready to let them go. Not yet.

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