Powder [phan]

XXXIII

Phil's POV

Where did he go? What was he doing? What did he think?

If he seriously thought that I believed him, that he just wanted to go for a walk, then all those drugs had probably already cost him more brain cells than one might have expected.

"Don't you want to go check on him?" my mother suddenly asked and I looked up at her, then at Oliver, which had become a reflex lately. My mother didn't know about everything that had happened and she knew how important Dan had always been to me.

Yes, I wanted to look after him, and normally Oliver would have done at some point, what I was secretly hoping for. But he didn't, and I knew exactly why.

"I can tell you worry." she went on and put her hand on my shoulder. I smiled half-heartedly.

"He'll be okay." I refused briefly and stared back into the campfire flame, ignoring Oliver's gaze. The crackling and the heat had made me so tired, but since Dan had disappeared, I was wide awake again.

"Sure? I mean since he was in the clinic- I don't know."

"That's why he was there, Mom. To get better. He'll be okay." I tried to calm her down and I felt Oliver's telepathic slap.

"If you say so, darling." she gave in.

Her tone of voice sounded as if she resented me not wanting to check on him, and it wasn't long before she confirmed this impression.

"All I know is, if that were my best friend, I would check on him. What are friends for? To be there for each other, isn't it?"

"My God, Mom. I've been there for him enough times." I tried to fight back, but she was smarter than me.

"And now is not the time to stop."

We were supposed to have a working friendship, and how could we be if I refused to be there for him because of our history?

I gritted my teeth and lowered my gaze.

"You're right, I should go check on him." I announced and stood up while Oliver smiled weakly or rather proudly at me. I left the warmth of the campfire and disappeared from my property as well.

I was cold, so I buttoned my jacket and crossed my arms while walking through the streets. I had an idea where Dan could be and if I still knew him as well as I did a year ago, I would find him there. But at the moment only a few insects flew in my face while I was fighting my way along the narrow forest path.

Around me there was nobody, not a soul and above me the moon shone through the pitted ceiling of leaves.

In front of me the forest slowly thinned out and I recognized another small piece of meadow. While I looked around and it didn't take me long to realize that I had found what I was looking for.

It was a small piece of healthy lawn lying in the middle of the forest. Oliver, Dan and I had often come here in our youth to just relax or something. Even after we moved to London, we came back a few times. It was something like our place that sealed our friendship.

And there he sat. Where he used to sit and let his hands run through the slightly damp grass. Slowly I walked towards him and when he heard my dull steps he turned a little and recognized that it was me.

Somehow I was relieved that he seemed to be okay, but on the other hand I didn't know what the consequences would be now that I had really followed him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked insecurely while I was sitting down as well.

"Checking on you."