Powder [phan]

XXIII

Phil's POV

It was more difficult than expected to get Dan's doctor on the phone, but due to the goodwill of the receptionist, we finally got a step further. After telling a very short version of the story, he asked me to come to his office which we did as soon as possible.

Oliver and I were now sitting at Dan's doctor and both hoped to find out something informative. Tyler was in the waiting room.

"I'm sorry we're here so late, but this is an emergency. Daniel has disappeared and I- I'm afraid that he could hurt himself or whatever." I tried to clarify immidiately.

"Listen, Mr. Lester." he finally gave me his full attention after clearing a few things from his desk. "Your friend has not appeared here for a long time. He missed a few sessions and didn't respond to calls. Obviously, he decided against the therapy and everything beyond that no longer falls within my scope. Of course, I hope he's okay, but I think if he's gone, it's more of a police case. They can probably help you more than I can." He announced and suddenly everything changed. The one thing he had mentioned put everything in a completely different light and Tyler's words seemed like the only possible explanation.

"He didn't show up anymore? But I always picked him up here." I stuttered, defending myself against the knowledge that he had actually played for days to see the doctor as usual. What did he do instead?

"I'm really sorry, but obviously your boyfriend just wanted you to believe that he would keep the appointments. And unfortunately I have to tell you that this has certainly not been the first time since I started this job. He's addicted, and even if I suspected he was on the right track, something might have got him to look at everything in a different light." He explained as my heart slipped into my pants. It had been right in front of my eyes all the time and I still hadn't seen it.

My eyes briefly found Olivers, who was just as shocked as I was. Maybe it was then that we realized that we had lost Dan.

"I would really like to help you, but I'm afraid I am very limited." The doctor continued when he examined my rather depressed posture. "Was there any sign that he gave up?"

"Apparently. I was just too stupid to see it." I muttered.

"Don't blame yourself. Addicts usually have very sophisticated ways of keeping it secret from others." He consoled me in vain. In the end Dan had actually managed to dupe myself.

"You know, it was actually so obvious. He was acting weird all the time, as if he were somehow in another world. But I blamed it more on private problems than on drugs, even if I had the slightest suspicion somewhere."

"What weird behaviour?" He suddenly asked with much more interest.

"He had the extreme emotional outbursts, once just disappeared from the apartment. At some point it seemed to me that he no longer felt or perceived anything properly."

"Mr. Lester." sighed the doctor, sinking deeper into his office chair. "Have you and Daniel read the package insert of his medication as I told you?"

I remembered how he asked Dan to read through the side effects, but somehow we never did. Probably because both of us have been impressed since we were children that you shouldn't do that because you are so provocative that they occur.

"No." I answered and looked at Oliver, who also never read them.

With a reproachful expression, my counterpart tried to enlighten me.

"The active ingredients in his medication are designed for psychological addiction, as is the case with cocaine. That means, quite simply, that cocaine in moderation is not as extremely life-threatening as, for example, heroin, but it does considerable damage to the psyche of the consumer. This is also the reason why he was allowed to stay with you at all and didn't have to go to the hospital immediately. Usually withdrawal symptoms can even kill by causing organ failure. But with cocaine, it is primarily the psychological addiction that causes the pain and not the body itself that craves the drug. On the other hand, this also means that the medication can temporarily have a negative impact on the patient's mental state. This doesn't happen very often, but if the circumstances are right and this side effect is favorable, it can happen. Heavy stress, exhaustion, little sleep and other requirements." He explained and I was probably the most perplexed face he had ever seen at that moment.