Hear Me Sin

Chapter Fourteen

14

French felt numb; he was numb. It was the first time he was having an outer body experience—either that, or that just went to show the power of the mind when it was clouded. He couldn't hear, see, feel, smell or sense anything going on around him. He was aware of his body inside the church, but it was like he wasn't there. He felt like his body was just a shell and his spiritual self was somewhere else.

He was leaning forward, elbows on his knees, his thumb running back and forth across his bottom lip as he stared at Uki resting peacefully in her casket. French sat in the first pew along with his mother and Uki's little brother, Emon. All three of them sat spaced out from each other since none of them really spoke but all had separate connections to Uki. French and Emon sat on opposite ends while Kendra sat in the middle, all of them at least eight feet apart.

A woman was at the front giving words of positivity about Uki. She mentioned some moments with her when she was a baby, so she may have been a estranged relative or family friend, French wasn't sure. But she could barely be heard over Emon's loud cries.

Uki laid in her mahogany casket, it was a customized casket that had a bunch of random vintage styled things on it. Images of books, clothes, places, random facts about places. He had it custom to the things she loved. The inside was covered in a spread of royal blue craigton corydalis flowers. She looked like an angel with her eyes closed, hands down at her sides.

All French could do was stare, the woman at the front had stepped down and the pastor replaced her to continue. He was aware of Emon's loud screams, but nothing was really hitting him as of yet. None of this felt real, he also knew some old friends from school were here, including his boy Damien who came with his girl. He hadn't said a word to anybody since he was here, he just came on his own.

Why would she kill herself? It was all he could keep asking. He doubted she was feeling tremendous physical pain, he knew she did hurt physically, but it wasn't to the point she couldn't spend her last days with him. She never seemed as if she was unhappy with him and putting on a front? She was dying, but did she not love him anymore?

Kendra stood up and headed to the front, to give a few words. French glanced at his mother who began to cry, but looked away from her when they almost made eye contact. Things were so intense, emotions were everywhere. Kendra couldn't hold herself together as she cried while giving her eulogy.

Emon couldn't believe this was reality, she was his last relative. His parents and other close family and friends had died in the explosion in the islands. If he did have any other extended family he didn't know of them. The last living person he cared about was now gone, he'd forever be alone for the rest of his life.

He was crying so much the few guest that were there started to cry as well. It was such a sad and emotional time. Once Kendra finished speaking, the pastor went up and began to sing, the older women speaking before got on the piano. French couldn't take it anymore and got up to leave, his heart was too heavy.

He stood and as he did Emon flew toward him. The other guest must've noticed because he was immediately grabbed away from French. It took six men to hold him back, the rage and hate in his eyes were dangerous. The commotion caused security to come inside the chapel. There was also another funeral going on and though they knew at events like this people's emotions got the best of them, they still had to maintain a safe environment.

"This is all your fault! I fucking hate you! You killed my sister! You killed my sister! Imma kill you! You fucking bastard! I hate you! Let me go! Let me go!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, trying his hardest to fight against the crowd shouting for him to calm down while restraining him.