Never Alone (Book Two)

Chapter One

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Jo

"I'm willing to listen, no yelling. I promise." I said as I looked at Arrow. He was still as beautiful as ever. His dark eyes softened as he looked at me and ran a hand through his curls.

Arrow looked down at the table before taking a deep breath, "Jo, I just want you to know I love you. A lot. I just want you to know that." His voice was consumed with sadness and regret.

"I know, Ar." I whispered.

I watched as he ran his hand through his hair once again. "First day of school she sucked me off in the bathroom, after that we started sleeping together. The day of Ethan's back to school party she proposed the plan, the game I guess. I agreed to it; it was wrong of me. So fucking wrong of me, baby. No matter what she said, it shouldn't have made me agree. I was an idiot.

I'm telling you now that I called it off, I told her I was done with it before I asked you to be my girlfriend. She told me she'd tell you, tell you everything and I was terrified because I was falling for you. I fell hard for you, Jo. You know I did. I was petrified you would find out.

Everything Mercy told me at the beginning was so fucked up, I shouldn't have believed her. I should have let her lies fill my head. But I did, I fucked up. There's no one else to blame but me, I said yes. I went along with it, and there's nothing I regret more then not telling you, Jo.

I never wanted her to humiliate you like she did, I even got her kicked out of prom so she wouldn't do it there. Because that was her plan from the start, to make a fool out of you at the end of the year. I tried my best to not let it happen.

What I did, is unforgivable. It's ridiculous, childish. It's going to be my biggest regret, baby. I didn't mean to hurt you, ever. That's why I couldn't have her tell you, the thought of hurting you caused me so much pain. But in the end, I still hurt you..." Arrow finished and looked at me.

A bunch of things were running through my head right now, I had no idea what to say to him. What could I say?

How could I forgive him so quickly? I definitely couldn't but, I still loved him. No matter what, that wasn't going to change.

"Jo?"

I looked back up at him, "I don't know what to say, Arrow. I mean, you have no idea how bad you've hurt me. Not the slightest clue."

"But, I do. I hurt you so bad and I can't apologize enough for it, Jo. You're the only one I've ever opened up to, the only one I've ever felt safe and at him with. I knew my words don't mean much but I love you."

My eyes met his once more, his eyes were dark but looked broken. I could see how upset he was, the dark bags that hung under his eyes were more noticeable now then ever. His skin was as pale as a blank sheet of paper, had he looked like this at graduation and I didn't notice? How was I just noticing now he wasn't okay? He wasn't okay just like I wasn't.

I longed to see his sweet smile that could light but a pitch black room full of sadness, I longed to be back in his arms and playing with his jungle of curls.

I wish forgiveness was as easy as people made it seem to be- as easy as movies made it seem to be... In reality, it's hard to forgive someone when you've been hurt so many times. I realize I'm not the only one who's been hurt, it's not fair of me to be like this. Trusting doesn't come easy to me, neither does forgiveness.