Oh You've Got To Be Joking

Plot Device: Activate!

"Time to die!"

   A splitting pain came across her stomach, and she looked down to see the spear sticking out. Sarah screamed, mostly from fear, and violently shoved Hidan away, clutching her stomach. Hidan cackled licking away the blood. He drew his symbol into the dirt, his skin turning black and white.

"Now, you die..." He told her, Sarah's heart pounded away, she didn't want to die, she didn't want to die painfully either. She definitely never thought she would die like this, though. She didn't even get to meet Naruto, which was like the must do when you enter the Naruto world.

   The closet she got to the leaf village, was that stupid dog. These weren't even her favorite Akatsuki characters. Sarah's head fell, her hair covering her face as she hid her tears.

She was going to die...

   Tears fell down her face as she held back sobs, wishing that she could have least seen her family one last time. Then she steadied herself, she wasn't going to die crying, there's only one thing you can control in your life, and that is your own reaction. She was going to die with her dignity in tact. Sarah closed her eyes, and waited for death.

Wait.

    There was something wrong. Why wasn't she feeling pain? Didn't she get stabbed? Subconsciously, her hand drifted to her stomach, before her eyes widened. All she felt there was smooth skin, and a small whole in her clothing where the blade had pierced.

"What.." She whispered to herself, before looking up just had Hidan stabbed himself in the heart, and she gasped, feeling the knife, and falling backwards before of the pain. However, moments later, the pain vanished. The blood was still present, but there was no wound. Sarah lay there, and debated playing dead. Hidan cursed her out for dying, assuming she would be dead after that blow. If she played dead, they could leave the body there and she would be free of them...

However, the universe just loves messing up Sarah's plans. She tried to hold it back, she really did... but the flowers nearby were really starting to get to her senses, and the dirt was definitely not helping.

"AH-CHOO!" Sarah a sneezed, then cursed. Hidan paused on his way back to Kakuzu, as he turned back to look at her. Sarah sat there awkwardly holding her running nose, looking around desperately for something to wipe it with that wasn't her bloody shirt, before just using her sleeve.

"Excuse me, to you have a tissue?" She chose to ask Hidan, as a way to break the ice. He just stared at her, a look of rage and confusion on his face. "How the fucking hell are you alive?!" He demanded, and she stood, dusting herself off.

"I don't know. But for some reason, I guess I'm immortal." She informed the... immortal. She supposed it was amusing that this was the Akatsuki duo who she'd run into, now that she realized she basically can't die.

    Well, she wasn't going to test out what she could and could not survive, but she was just going to say she was immortal until proven otherwise. "Immortal? What the hell do you mean immortal?" Hidan demanded, and Kakuzu began approaching them, barking at Hidan to get a move on before noticing that Sarah was still very much alive, but covered in blood.

"Why is she still alive?" Kakuzu asked. "Will you hurry up and kill her?" Hidan glared at Kakuzu before pointing angry at the girl. "She won't fucking die. Apparently, she's immortal." Kakuzu looked at Sarah. "Immortal? Impossible." Sarah looked at the miser, then at the crazy nutcase beside her, debating over running again. She probably wouldn't get away, even if she was immune to murder.

   Hidan started arguing with Kakuzu, and Sarah started edging away, before Hidan suddenly shouted "Fine, I'll prove it!" He raised his scythe and swipped at Sarah, who ducked. "HEY!"

"HOLD FUCKING STILL!" Hidan cursed, trying to stab her. Sarah ducked his hit, and glared at him.

"NO!" Sarah yelled back.

"YOU CAN'T FUCKING DIE WHY ARE YOU FUCKING COMPLAIN BITCH?!"Hidan screamed as he brought the Scythe down, and this time he moved with actual speed so Sarah couldn't dodge it, the blade sunk into her shoulder. Sarah bit her lip until it bleed (it immediately healed of course) to muffle her shout of pain.

   Hidan pulled his scythe free of her shoulder, and as the pain slowly faded, Hidan pointed at her. "Look! See! I fucking told you!" Kakuzu looked at her now unscathed and bare shoulder. Sarah looked at her shirt in disappointment, she only had so many shirts after all, and that had also fucking hurt.

   Sarah stood up, brushed herself off, then headed over to the bushes to retrieve her things to find a sweat or something to cover her falling apart shirt. "Where are you going?" Hidan asked, moving to stop her, only to pause when she pulled out her bag, and pulled out her jacket.

"Putting on clothing that isn't destroyed." Sarah responded, turning to them and crossing her arms. "So now what? You can't kill me, and I'm of no use to you. Can you guys just leave me alone and forget I exist?" Sarah asked, daring to hope they would just leave.

"How are you immortal?" Asked Kakuzu. "Is it a technique?" He asked. Sarah, knowing full well it wasn't a technique, decided on the next possible explanation that would make sense to them.

"No, Kekkei Genkai would be closer, although I'm not sure about that, I honestly didn't know about it until he killed me." She gestured to Hidan, before noting her necklace on the ground. She scooped it up and put it back around her neck, tucking it under her shirt this time so as not to loose it.

"A Kekkei Genkai?" Kakuzu hummed, before seemingly muttering to himself. "Worth a lot of money." Sarah paused, greatly uneasy about the idea of being sold. If he did move to sell her, she wouldn't allow that, or well, she supposed it would depend to whom she was being sold to. If she would be able to escape from them or not.

   If she knew she couldn't, she would reveal she knew secret about the Akatsuki. If she could, she would just have to allow it to occur and then escape, however bothersome that was.

"Anyone you would sell me to, wouldn't live long." She warned, "I'm immortal, so if I want someone dead they have no choice but to die." Sarah wasn't sure she would actually kill anyone, but if they were anything like normal human buyers, she wasn't sure if she would have much mercy for them, and killing them might be the only way to escape.

"Hm." Kakuzu hummed, seemingly unphased. "Hidan, were taking the girl." Sarah's heart dropped, and she huffed in annoyance. She made sure not to retrieve her other bag, it was hidden well and the Akatsuki certainly didn't need it.

"Tch, greedy fucker." Hidan cursed under his breath, before grabbing Sarah's wrist. Sarah pulled, but he was much stronger so her resistance didn't mean much. She clutched her bag tightly for comfort, and relented to walking, trying to come up with a plan.

   She knew of one person that took interest in Kekkei Genkai, a weapons dealer that was shown in a filler episode from Shippuden, and she wasn't entirely sure she could escape from him. Granted, in comparison to the Akatsuki... actually no, she could handle the Akatsuki. She knew what she was getting with the Akatsuki, and she would survive them, while they would all die. She could wait them out of she could not escape.

She could not wait out this person, as he never really died.

   Then again, Kakuzu might be trying to sell her somewhere else. Who knows.. it might be easy to escape from them, and think on it, she was effectively UN-killable, she didn't really know if she was actually immortal. Did she age? Could she get sick? Poisoned? What are the details?

Sarah couldn't be sure. Would she be able to starve?

   Coming to think of it, she just remembered something. Kakashi Hatake. Sarah almost perked up at this, and decided that aid from the leaf was basically her only hope. Her blood was dripping everywhere, so she was certain Kakashi could follow her scent. Should she pull a Kushina and pull out strands of her hair to leave a trail? That's certainly an option...

    A cheesy option, but an option nonetheless. Sarah was also sure Kakashi would find her things, and also the note among them. She had left a note in her bag written in Japanese on the event that she lost her things. It explained who she was and what she knew.

Now it would just be a matter of of waiting...

Sarah hoped that she could somehow get out of this mess...