Powder [phan]

XXII

"Maybe it's just a side effect from the tablets. Maybe we should have read better what they do." He continued to think logically, while I was emotional as always.

"When he left it was as if he was saying goodbye." Suddenly I noticed and I noticed how Oliver swallowed hard. "For the last few days since the incident, I had the feeling that he was getting farther and farther away from me and earlier it was as if he had just given up and that scares me so badly."

Without saying anything, Oliver listened to me and his face grew more and more worried, so I lost hope that he could really help me.

"You have no idea how often I see him in front of me, how he came out of the bathroom when he overdosed and how I was with him in the hospital every day and when the visit was over, sat at home and almost would have gone crazy. I think about it so often because it was the worst time in my life and if I lose him because of the same shit, then-"

"Phil." Oliver replied so softly that it contrasted so strongly with the roaring anger in me that I could hardly understand him. "As I know you, you just started blindly to look for him, but logically think about where he could be."

For a few moments I scraped together every clear thought I could find. And in fact it suddenly seemed so clear to me who could help me.

"Tyler."

For some reason I couldn't figure out, Dan always turned to him when things got weird between us. Dan probably thought that Oliver wouldn't advise him what he would like to hear and that he wasn't the right place to go for the problems he was having.

I jumped up and dug out my cell phone, ignored the blackness spreading before my eyes, and stood up. I couldn't just sit.

"He's 100 percent with Tyler." I said, and Oliver looked at me in confusion.

"Tyler? The Tyler? Why should he go back to him?"

"Because he always runs to him somehow. I don't know, but last time he was there too. Somehow everything repeats itself." I explained when my knees softened and I slumped a bit.

"Everything okay?" Oliver asked, but I couldn't recognize him because of the black, I couldn't hear him with the roar in my ears.

"Yes, I have to go. I must-"

"Phil, I think you should lie down for a moment." he advised me, and shortly afterwards I felt a strong hand on my upper arm that kept me from falling to the floor.

"No, I don't have time!" I resisted weakly, even though my body clearly signaled how the last few days had dragged me and pulled me. Dan's withdrawal symptoms, the ongoing struggle for his trust, and his emotional escapades had cost me tons of strength, without my having even registered it.

I just couldn't do it anymore, and that became apparent when I needed it the least.

"It doesn't help if you go like this, Phil. You will fall within the first ten meters." Oliver appealed to my reason, but I had no energy left to contradict when he was already dragging me into the bedroom and on his bed.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. Nothing happens to Dan. Now close your eyes."

I tried to stay conscious. But the sound of Oliver closing the door behind him was the last thing I could remember before my perception blurred.

I don't know if I passed out or actually fell asleep from exhaustion, but when I woke up it was getting dark.

My feet touched the wooden floor by the bed and only now did I notice that someone had taken off my shoes. I immediately put them back on because I knew I wouldn't be able to stay here much longer.