I love your scars {soukoku} TW⚠️

Part 1: the transfer student

"You know this is all meaningless, right?" I told my best friend Kunikida. He seemed a bit confused.
"What is meaningless Dazai?" He asked.
"...Life..."

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The next morning at school. I see familiar faces walking, smiling, talking, without a care in the world.

I wonder how they do it? How people can just live? What goes through their heads when they feel happy?
"Why are you staring at people again?" My thoughts were interrupted by an annoying underclass man: Akutagawa.
"I was just thinking of how I could get you distracted without seeming obvious." I lied jokingly.
"Well seeing as you're the one who is tutoring me for math class it doesn't seem like you'll be able to lose me anytime soon." He smiled back.

Damn it, I forgot about that. One of the main reasons why I don't like being around Akutagawa is because he always has his little gang following him. It's not that I don't like people it's just that I don't like crowds, they make me anxious. But I'm good with talking to people just not a lot of people at the same time.

And almost on que his little gang showed up. As he was greeting them I slipped a note in his coat pocket telling him we can meet up at a coffee shop to start tutoring after school, then left. I had to start to go to class anyway.

I wasn't always this anxious or depressed but I have my reasons. It's a long story and I've never really told anyone, but it's because I've developed this idea in my head that it doesn't matter and I guess that idea slipped into everyday life.

I walked into the full classroom. Seeing all the people made me anxious so I kept my head down and walked to my seat and sat down. My mind was running wild asking myself a thousand questions. "Am I being rude by not saying hi to anyone? Am I wearing the right uniform? Can they see my bandages? Lord I hope they can't see. I hope they don't know."
I jumped when i felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Dazai?!" A voice shouted.
"Huh?" I said lifting my head up only to see a pair of glasses.
"I asked if you have been taking care of your self? You look pale." Kunikida said.
"I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess."

Then the door opened and the teacher walked in to start today's lessons.

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Just after the first lesson we hear a knock at the door. The teacher went to open it.
"Ah principal Mori what brings you here?" He asks. The Principal walked into the classroom with a short redhead following behind him. He's really cute but also really intimidating.

"I'm just here to introduce a transfer student. He just moved to the area. Students this is Chuuya Nakahara."
We made eye contact for a brief moment and this feeling of panic came over me. He has beautiful eyes, and I think he's still looking at me.

"Well welcome Chuuya we are glad to have you join us. There is only one seat left open it's right behind Dazai. I hope you don't mind sitting towards the back." The teacher smiled.
"Not at all." He responded with a voice clearly said he was confident. which is the total opposite of me.