The Damaged

Chapter Sixteen

Uriah tells them something that causes Zeke to hold the bar next to him for stability. I can't see how Four reacts, but Uriah is still talking. I've only had one conversation with him, but I'm well aware he's always on the verge of cracking a joke.

I abruptly stand from the table, leaving my friends and tray of cold food behind and walk towards the boys. I need to know what happened, even if it has nothing to do with me.

They're about to start walking when I set my hand on Four's arm for him to stop.

"What's wrong?" I ask, finding him with an emotionless face.

"It's Amar," Four says a bit distantly, "he's dead."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

They say he jumped off the building right outside of the compound. A Dauntless woman discovered the body, they later identified it as Amar's.

I didn't go with Four and the others to see if it was really true, the news spreading across the Dauntless was enough to know it was real. Amar was dead.

Back in Abnegation, we'd take a few days to mourn before holding a funeral then the family of the deceased would hold a gathering afterwards to mourn together. But in Dauntless, they face death head on. Wanting to spend as little time on mourning as they can to move on with what they're busiest with- life.

Everyone's gathered by the Chasm, laughing and talking fills the hallway. The sound of clinking glass is just as loud, the occasional breaking of a bottle comes from every direction.

I stand between Tara and a Dauntless boy, not that much older than I am. He has his arm around a friend of his, passing a brown bottle back and forth.

Four stands in front of me, staring somewhere I can't see and letting Shauna and Zeke talk for him. I'm happy to be this close to him, not having to search through a sea of people to find him.

Though I didn't know Amar well, I still feel an ache in my chest that I'll miss him. He's the one who gave me my first answer about being Divergent. That we're not dangerous. He understood what many can't comprehend.

Everyone thinks he jumped, but I know better. Only the Erudite are to blame for his death. They couldn't control him anymore, so they did what seemed to be the most logical.

I hate how the realization sinks in; my face suddenly goes hot with anger and all I want to do is punch something. Instead, I decide that forgetting my problems would be for the better.

"Hey" I nudge the boy to my right with the bottle. He looks at me with red stained eyes, a smirk on his face.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Can I have some of that?" I gesture to the bottle only inches away from me.

The boy laughs and hands over the bottle. Without thinking, I put the lip to my mouth and down the liquor into my body. It tastes grotesque, my throat is temporarily burning but passes just as fast.

"Thanks" I wipe my mouth and hand the bottle back to him.

He takes it back with a nod, sipping on whatever's left.

I'm not sure how I should feel, if I should be feeling anything. There's a part of me that thinks I should be alone to deal with my thoughts, while the other part of me wants to forget everything. Forget that Erudite might kill me next, or Four. Forget that death is inevitable.

When I notice Four with a cup in his hand, I move around the few people until there's a clear gap and stand in front of his small group.

"Hey" I grin at him, tipping his cup with my finger to just find the glassy bottom reflecting my face. "You're out" I pout.