𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 ➳ 𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘬𝘦

ii. love & philophobia

Her mesmerizing beauty still amazed her in every way possible. It wasn't just her defined facial features that captivated her, it was everything else that lay beneath the surface. She could tell from the way that she had treated her while she was first held captive, that her heart was pure and in the right place. Of course, she wasn't perfect, but what human left on this planet or in the universe was?

Blame it on Kota's naïve-labeled persona if you will, but she had always been the type of person to believe in many typically-doubted things such as love at first sight. With Octavia, it may not have been love that she immediately saw in her at first, but there was some sort of deeper initial attraction.

Before her mother died when she was around 10 or 11, she remembered hearing her say that humans could have an undeniable love for someone that was deeply rooted not only in the heart but within the soul as well. Their deeper connection to one another would allow such destined lovers to find one another and meet on a level of understanding like no other.

They were referred to as soulmates in the village, and they were known to be very rare. At least, that's what her mother had stated in her overly-dramatic bedtime stories.

Later on in life, as she worked alongside Lexa, she remembered her telling the story about a girl that she had once fallen in love with. Her name was Costia, and Lexa had claimed that she was the love of her life. However, after she was brutally murdered at the hands of the Azgeda queen, Lexa's views on love changed drastically. She was significantly impacted by Costia's death and it rightfully showed through her displays of emotion and how she ruled over her people. It seemed as if she was afraid to love again and now viewed it as a sign of weakness.

In the end, the way that she had described her love for Costia seemed like it no doubt came from the heart, however in Kota's opinion, it wasn't exactly from the soul. To her, it felt like even though it would be devastating for a loved one to die, their death should ultimately make us stronger in some way and we should be more open and appreciative of the love and feelings we were able to experience.

We shouldn't have to be on guard when it comes to love and we should be able to allow our hearts the freedom to further explore after our designated time of grievance. If we don't, and we refrain from love like Lexa, then we might never find the true souls with which we were meant to be.

It sounded like what she and Costia had was love, but Kota had hope that Lexa's soulmate was still out there somewhere waiting for her, even if she may not know it. And whether she was destined to meet this soulmate soon or not, she wasn't sure. But she knew that they'd meet each other at some point, whether in this life, or the next.

She felt like maybe Octavia could be her soulmate, but maybe she was being too optimistic. Only time will tell. If she was her soulmate though then she couldn't wait to see where life took them, and she was very fortunate to have the opportunity to grow and develop alongside her. She had high hopes for her, and she knew Octavia had them for her too.

Soon, her eyelids began to defy her, lightly fluttering shut and leaving her open and vulnerable to the unavoidable slumber consuming her. Due to her drowsiness, she was already too physically and mentally plummeted to take notice of the rustling in the nearby trees. So she was taken by surprise when something sharp hit the back of her head and caused her to spiral into the endless depths of unconsciousness.

➳ ➳ ➳

Octavia woke up to what looked like a disoriented figure of a man kneeling in front of her. His clothes were those of a Trikru member, and he had tattoos and markings across his face that led her to believe he was indeed a grounder. She began to panic and look left and right for her lover and friend, Dakota, only to find out that she was nowhere to be seen.