The Redhead Outlander

Aen Seidhe

The doctor was the first to wake up. He didn't feel like he had been sleeping and was tired, so tired. He sighed as he slowly rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. While he became aware of the events of last night, he heard a slight sigh right next to him; turning around, he saw a redheaded, tangled head sleeping in his bed. Alvia...

Alvia who had been with him in one of his rare moments of weakness; in one of his rare moments he didn't feel like the doctor anymore, but like a man who had exterminated his own people. She, who had been there for him, to comfort, support and love him.

He didn't deserve her... He didn't deserve her love, her friendship and everything she offered him.

He looked at her and removed a few locks from her face, his fingers gently caressing the soft, pale, warm skin. He saw her face again, emptied of all the usual stress and exhaustion she used to wear on her face. To his astonishment, he noticed pearls of tears hanging from her lashes.

She cries in her sleep? he observed with sadness.

One of the pearls of tears had grown large enough to start rolling over her face towards the cushion. He wiped it off with his thumb before putting a kiss on the top of her head. His gesture seemed to have woken her, for she moaned as she began her waking process. It took her a few minutes before she finally opened her eyes and met his.

"Hey..." I greeted softly, my mind still wrapped by sleep.

"Hello Alvia..." the doctor murmured quietly with an almost invisible smile.

I closed my eyes before reopening them a moment later, taking a deep breath that sounded strangely like a sigh.

"How do you feel? "I asked him, remembering the events of the day before.

"I'm alright. "

Liar...

I knew that answer. So classic from him.

I finally got up, standing on my elbow while my other hand rested against his thatch-free cheek.

"How do you really feel? "I asked him again, with a slight insistence.

The doctor put his hand against mine to deepen the contact against his cheek before he let himself fall into bed, dragging me against his chest. He stared at me silently and I waited patiently for his answer. I knew that I couldn't rush the doctor to answer me at the risk that he would turn his back and keep everything he felt inside. What had happened last night was an unbelievable proof of the trust he had in me.

A trust that I didn't really think I deserved, but which I cherished with the utmost care. Knowing about the doctor's past was an honor coming from him and being able to be there for him as he counted Gallifrey's lost children was something so important that I would not be able to describe it.

He sighed finally before answering.

"Tired, exhausted, empty..." he murmurs. "I feel like I can't be the doctor anymore, like I don't have the right to. "

I moved to be bent over him, sitting on my lap and my other hand reaching to his other cheek to raise and turn his head so he could face me.

"It's just a dark moment. A very, very dark moment that you can get up from, that you have to get up from. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are. And I told you, I'll be there for you; in your good times and your bad; until you don't want me by your side anymore..."

"Until the End of Time..." he whispers, staring devoutly at me.

"Exactly..." I whispered in affirmation as I leaned in a bit more to kiss him.