Castle One Shots

Untold Story

The boys took a detour to a bar with Alex Conrad after their short visit to the Rikers. Esposito opens up about his past. Post 3x21 fic.

Tags: Slight angst, head cannon

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It was about 11 pm at the Old Haunt. The usually quiet bar was echoing with laughter. Mostly from 3 men, who are a little more drunk than they'd like to admit.

Alex laughed as he listened to Detective Ryan's story intently. It might just make for some good material for his next book.

"So anyway.." Ryan continued "I held up the package to this guy, right? Then I tossed it over to him. But the thing is.." he said, his voice raising an octave as his excitement grew "It slipped from his fingers and dropped straight down-" he paused for dramatic effect "-into the ocean" he ended.

Alex laughed "No way. And then what happened? Was he pissed?" he asked.

"Oh no, but he was stunned. So was I, honestly. But then my partner and I got enough of our senses back to arrest him" Ryan ended.

Esposito shook his head "What kind of idiot makes a handoff at a bridge like that?" he questioned in disbelief.

"Idiots who are desperate and paranoid enough" Ryan answered simply with a shrug.

"So what other stories do you have?" Alex asked excitedly.

Ryan was about to answer when his phone rang. He went to check who it was and realized it was his fiance.

He cursed under his breath "Sorry, guys. I forgot I made plans with Jenny tonight" he said regrettably.

"No, it's okay" Alex assured "It'll be nice to hear his stories next" he said, nodding towards Esposito, who just gave him a small smile before taking a sip of his beer.

Ryan nodded "Okay. But we can reschedule. You so need to hear the mule story" he said.

"Just call me when you're free" Alex said simply.

They waved goodbye to Ryan, who left while answering his phone. After he was gone, Alex turned to Esposito. They were silent as they both thought of what to say next. But then, Esposito chuckled suddenly.

Alex frowned "What?" he asked.

"Nah, it's just... Castle and Beckett lied to me" he said as he turned to face Alex, gesturing between them "This is weird" he stated.

Alex paused "Well, who cares what they think. Information is still information. So.." he straightened in his seat as he turned to face Esposito "Tell me about yourself. What motivates you to get out of bed everyday? What does it take to make you tick?" he asked.

Esposito chuckled, shaking his head in amusement "I dunno about what makes me tick. Honestly, just about anything annoying enough would do it for me" he admitted, then paused "But motivation wise...I'd have to say is my desire to bring everyone home safely" he admitted.

"Why is that?" Alex asked curiously.

Esposito was silent for a moment. He watched Alex with careful and observant eyes. He finally faced forward again as he spoke.

"I was in Special Forces before I became a cop" he admitted "On my last tour, something..." he paused "..bad, happened" he said vaguely.

Alex pulled out his voice recorder "Can you elaborate?" he asked but hesitated when he saw Esposito eyeing it "Uh...do you mind if I record this?" he added.

Esposito smiled, then nodded.

Alex pressed the record button and waited.

Esposito was silent for a few moments before he continued "My friends back in the day, we were sent to surveillance this town. Cass, a friend of mine, and I were both kinda the big dogs of the team. There was this kid..Andrew Walters, he was a rookie. He was still green, kinda clueless about everything. But we managed" he fiddled with his drink "We had to make a move, approach enemy lines. But there was a bomb.." he recalled, falling silent again "We got thrown back about 5 feet. I was dazed and confused when Cass helped me up again. Then I saw this shooter came out of nowhere. I had to push Cass out of the way, but doing that meant I caught his bullet" he swallowed a lump.

Alex just watched the detective carefully. Not wanting to break his flow, he kept quiet, letting the humm of the bar fill their silent moments.

"After I shot the guy down, I saw Cass, unconscious. Apparently I accidentally shoved him on a rock, he knocked his head and passed out. By this time, other people from our unit showed up. Bullets were flying everywhere. That was when I saw him.." he paused "Walters, a few feet away, bleeding out. Dying" he said "I rushed over to him. By that time, so much adrenaline was pumping through my system, I didn't even feel the bullet anymore. Then I got to him.." he gulped as he recalled the memory.

Sarge? Help me..

"The explosion caused this glass shard to impale his chest" he said.

Javi...I'm scared.

"He was in pain, and confused. I tried to stop the bleeding, but there wasn't much I could do. So I carried him over my shoulder, back to the medic. When I put him down, all I could see was fear... And slowly, I watched the life drain out of his eyes" his head lowered, his eyes falling shut "He, uh... By the time the medic got to him, he'd already lost so much blood. And it was then that I passed out. Blood lost" he admitted quietly, then took a swig of his drink "When I came back home, I was diagnosed with PTSD. It took me awhile to recover. But when I did, I signed myself up for the police academy. And I swore...I'd never let my friends die under my watch ever again" he ended quietly.

Alex stared at the detective for a moment. Then he reached for his voice recorder and stopped the recording. He saw the terror in his eyes and chose his words carefully.

"He meant a lot to you, huh?" he guessed.

"I was responsible for him... He was my friend" Esposito admitted, then fished into his pocket and pulled out a set of dog tags "I'll forever carry his death with me" he said.

Alex saw that the dog tags don't belong to the detective. But instead it belonged to his friend.

Andrew Walters, it read.

"Carrying this around helps with my 'misplaced guilt'. Or at least that's what the shrink told me. In a way, I was letting him live my life because I feel responsible, or something.." Esposito said lazily, not entirely sure.

"So you wear that everyday?" he asked.

"Nah, not everyday. Just...when I'm little out of it. Or when I feel like it" he admitted.

Alex observed him for a moment "Well, I think you're doing an excellent job at bringing everyone home safe" he said.

Esposito glanced towards Alex and smiled "You're okay" he said, then kept the dog tags back inside his pocket.

Alex just smiled, not sure how to reply. Then, Esposito glanced to his watch.

"I gotta go. I have to be at work early tomorrow" he said as he gulped down the rest of his beer and placed some cash under the empty bottle, then turned to Alex, nodding to the exit "Wanna share a cab?" he asked.

Alex nodded, pocketing his voice recorder as he followed the detective out the door.

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Thoughts? Like it? Hate it? Love it? Lemme know! :)