Castle One Shots

Breaking Point (Part 2)

Alternative ending

Ryan is now sitting in the hospital waiting room. His mind racing as his heartbeat refused to slow down. He kept remembering the moment over and over again.

__________

Ryan had thrown himself forward and wrestled the gun away from his partner's head. He was barely successful as the bullet managed to graze the back of Esposito's head in the process.

He was writhing in pain by the time Ryan tossed the gun aside. His heart dropped at the sight of blood that stained his friends bedsheets.

The last thing he wanted was to hurt him.

He quickly grabbed a handful of his sheets then pressed it to the back of his head, applying steady pressure to stop him from bleeding out. He had called 911 and the ambulance quickly arrived to take him to the hospital where he was patched up.

__________

Ryan sighed as he buried his face in his hands.

He had planned to spend some time relaxing with his friend. Maybe cheer him up, because he knows better than anyone than to believe Esposito when he says he's fine. He was definitely not expecting having to knock several times before using the key he was given to enter the apartment, only to see his best friend attempting suicide.

"Kevin" a familiar voice called out.

When he turned his head, he saw none other than his wife along with Castle, Beckett and even Lanie, rushing towards him. He stood up slowly, not having enough energy to even feel relief.

Jenny raced to his arms and pulled him into a tight hug.

He wrapped his arms around her then rested his chin on her shoulder. His previously tense muscles began to relax. But he couldn't stop himself from beginning to sob. He was so close to losing his best friend, and he couldn't bare to imagine a life without him.

He buried his face between the crook of her neck as he held her closer.

"I was so scared" he admitted between sobs.

"Shh...I know. But it's over now. You saved him" she said softly as she ran her fingers through his hair, trying to calm his nerves.

"If I hadn't showed up he would've-"

"He didn't" she cuts him off "And you were there to stop him. He's alive because of you" she said.

He began to calm down and she finally pulled back. She reached to wipe his tears away. He smiled at her gratefully.

"What happened?" Lanie was the first to speak up.

Ryan sighed "I came over to cheer him up after today. After Mrs Jones' interview, he wasn't the same" he paused, remembering the pained look in his best friend's eyes "I wanted to hang out, so I came by with some takeout and I knocked. He didn't answer. So I opened the door with my spare key and...he was just sitting there on his bed, with a gun to his head" he drew in a shaky breath "He didn't even hear me come in. So I called out to him and...when he looked at me, all I saw was pain" he admitted "He was in so much pain. He kept telling me how much it hurt, and that he just wanted it to end. I had to wrestle the gun out of his hands, but it grazed the back of his head when he pulled the trigger" he ended.

There was a solemn silence.

"How's he holding up?" Beckett asked.

"The doctor said that he's stable, and gave him sleeping pills to calm him down. He's still asleep" he said.

"How are you holding up?" Castle asked this time.

"To be honest...terrible" he said "No one just decides to kill themselves after one incident. No. This has been built for awhile and I never once picked up on it" he said as his eyes began to water again "What kind of friend am I?" he questioned.

"The kind that saved his friend" Jenny said sternly, making sure he knows that she means it.

He gave her a weak smile in return.

"Can we see him?" Lanie asked.

"Visiting hours ended hours ago. But the doctor made an exception. She told me only two people are allowed and that we have to be quiet since it is a shared room" he explained.

"Lanie, you go ahead with Kate" Castle said "I can wait until tomorrow" he assured.

She was too worried about Esposito's wellbeing to question the writer, so she just nodded.

After Ryan told them the room number, they quietly made their way towards the room. When they got there, they were met with a dimly lit room. On one side, the curtains were closed shut for privacy, while on the other, Esposito lay asleep, with a bandage wrapped around his head.

They approached the bed quietly, then Lanie took a seat by his side. She took his hand in hers and caressed it with a sigh.

"You could always come to me to talk, you know" she spoke softly "I wouldn't have pushed you away. I would've listened, if you'd let me" she added, then quickly wiped away a tear "None of this wouldn't have happened if I stopped pushing you away. I'm sorry" she apologized.

"Hey" Beckett spoke as she stepped beside her "This isn't your fault. You should know better than anyone, that if Esposito didn't want you to know about something, you wouldn't know about it" she said "Yes, he's been in a bad place for God knows how long. Long enough to attempt to take his own life. But none of this is your fault. He just didn't realize talking to people was an option" she paused "But now he does. So we're going to make sure he gets the help he needs. Even if he refuses and starts throwing tantrums. We'll make sure he gets everything he needs" she assured.

She didn't argue, instead looked down at his hand closed between hers "I just want him to know that I never stopped caring. I never will. He's my friend and I'll be damned if I let this happen again" she said.

Beckett gave her a small smile "He knows" she assured "And he'd have to be crazy to even think about doing this again. Because from now on, we'll be keeping a close eye on him. Even if he hates it" she added.

Lanie held onto his hand tighter as tears fell down her cheek "I don't know what I would've done if I lost him" she admitted.

"You didn't. He's still here" she reminded, knowing how easily she could spiral when emotional.

She was silent for a moment "Can I have a moment with him, please?" she asked quietly.

Beckett nodded "I'll be right outside" she said, going to hug her best friend, then squeezed Esposito's arm firmly before stepping out of the room.

Lanie sighed, mindlessly fiddling with his hand "Sometimes you're just selfish, you know that?" she said, not caring about a reply "What do you think would've happened after you were gone? That we would all move on and forget? That we wouldn't have cared?" she questioned "Well jackass, we do. And maybe if you weren't so selfish, you'd think about the people around you before making rash decisions. Maybe if you weren't so selfish, you'd have thought about how that would've made us feel. How it made me feel" she didn't bother hiding her tears now "Why did you have to make me so selfish?" she questioned as she turned away.

She half expected his hand to reach out and wipe her tears away. But she knew better. Turning to look at him, she noticed that he was still sound asleep. The doctor obviously knew what she was doing and made sure he had enough to sleep through the night.

She sighed again, before gently running her thumb over his chin.

She stood up and leaned down to kiss his forehead before bidding him goodnight, promising to visit him the next day. Then she walked out of the room.

- - - - - - - - - -

Esplanie? *Hint* *Hint*.

Thoughts?