𝐣𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 ~ 𝐛𝐱𝐛

𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒

tw warning

i just wanna end it

i was getting better from the drama with alvaro, i got a therapist and got more help.

but here i am at 1 am getting texts from him, where he fills me with guilt.

when i left him i had never felt worse.

i stopped eating, i started cutting, i never left my bed, i didn't move from my bed.

if i even moved my leg it felt as if they were jello.

i was weak, and at my lowest. i had never got this bad.

i cannot explain the pain i felt.

everytime i reached for my phone my heart would feel heavy because the thought of him surfaced.

every photo, everything, i all thought of him.

i couldn't escape him.

i cried my heart out for two weeks, and if i ever left my bed it was to hurt myself.

but as i text this i see his number pop up with a notification.

every single word he says makes me feel worse.

im spiraling down into a pit of pain.

i know when i left i hurt him, but why is it i get the blame?

why do i wanna die again after all my progress..