J. Smoke - The Reptile Room

Chapter TEN

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

"Egad!"

Mr. Poe was shocked at what he was seeing, in front of the banker stood Sunny, who was being wrapped around by the Incredibly Deadly Viper. When he and the two other adults heard the baby shriek for the first time, they thought it was the screeching iguana clock. But they were wrong once they entered the room and found Klaus shouting, "Oh no, its the Incredibly Deadly Viper! It's going to bite Sunny!"

Now reader, there are two types of panicking. The first one is being so shocked, you would be quiet enough for someone else to hear your heart beat. The second one is speaking gibberish—whatever comes into your head—and moving all over the place. Inscpector Haircut and Nurse Lucafont were doing the first type, and only gasped. But Mr. Poe ended up doing the second type.

"Goodness!" he shrieked. "Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Look away! Kill the snake! Leave it be! Give it some food! Let it starve! Let it bite her! Don't let it bite her! No! It bit her! It bited her! Calm down! Get moving! Call an ambulance! Call the police! Call a scientist! Call my wife! This is terrible, awful, ghastly! This is phantasmagorical! This is—"

"What is going on, here?!" Stephano—who had almost captured Violet—entered the room.

"An incredibly deadly viper bit the baby," said Inspector Haircut in a worried voice. He held out his oddly stiff hands, blocking Stephano from getting any closer. "You should probably stand back."

"Nonsense," said Stephano, and stepped in front of the distraction. "There is nothing to worry about."

"How can you say that," Mr. Poe cried, "Sunny got bitten."

"The Incredibly Deadly Viper is just really a harmless snake," said Stephano. "Dr. Montgomery gave it the misnomer name for his own amusement."

"And how do you know that?" asked Klaus.

"Dr. Montgomery told me himself," said Stephano. "But though he did, I was unconvinced. I looked through the herpetologist's private papers."

"Um, boss—" the inspector cleared his voice.

"Don't interrupt," Stephano said. "I read through all the documents, notes, and books he owned. I usually sat under a brass reading lamp doing so. That's how I got all the other information on all these other snakes."

"Aha!" Sunny said.

"What did she say?" asked Nurse Lucafont.

"Aha!" Sunny said yet again.

"By 'Aha' my sister means 'Aha!'" said Klaus. "Stephano just said he was an expert on herpetology, when earlier ago, he said he knew nothing about snakes. Saying he was reading all those papers reveals he is lying!"