DIAGNOSIS: LOVESICK ; jjk ✓

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I gave him a glance. "I wanted your support then. I got nothing."

"That's why I'm here to give you everything you need that I wasn't able to give before. I lacked as your father, and I'm so sorry for that. You'll always be my strong daughter. I'll always be your Dad." His sobs erupted louder this time I had to look down so it wouldn't feel more painful when I saw him. After a few minutes, he was wiping his tears with the back of his hand, letting out hiccups. He added, "Finally, after decades, I've come to completely forgive your mom and accept everything. I've fixed my trust issues. I'm no longer hurting when I the people who remind me of the past. I'm okay. I'm happy and contented with the family I have right now. I just want to fix this, move on, and have a normal family, you know? I held the grudge for too long. It's tiring." A sigh came out of his mouth, clasping his hands together.

I didn't know what to say. Too awkward and overwhelming. What I had been dreaming to have was right here before me, and all I just had to do was process everything and take it in. My heart was doing some complicated thumping I barely could breath.

"Jungkook talked to me. I wasn't in the position to do that, but I listened to what he had to say. I didn't tell him anything. I was mad because he hurt you, but it had been years and it was an issue between you and him. I had no right to interfere. It's just that, he wouldn't stop and this shouldn't drag on forever. You're old enough to decide. I can only say one thing. That is, listen."

My forehead creased. "He left. He was mum for years. And then suddenly he is here. How could he do that? We already talked. It's enough."

"I haven't been able to listen and understand before... Look where it got me. We've all suffered for years.. it's hard to bear right? When you've got all questions in your head but you don't know the answers because you refuse to talk about it. Being denial doesn't help. I'd done the same," he calmly explained.

"But why does he come back after all these years? I'm stronger now, he can't take that back."

"Only Jungkook can answer your questions. And being strong doesn't mean closing off your heart. You have a complete control over yourself, it's your choice if you want to be vulnerable... The past four years taught me how important it is to listen... I get it... you've been hurt. There were illogical decisions done and learning from mistakes is hard... Still, anyone deserves to be heard."

He was looking at his own hands as he went on again, "People make terrible choices... Who is perfect, anyway? Who has the guts to act and come clean? Hypocrites will say they hate people who do stupid decisions because they do, too. But I believe all of it don't matter when you try to learn from mistakes, strive to be better, and when love wins in the end."

"Did Jungkook beg you to tell me this?" I asked, doubtful.

Dad shook his head. "No, believe me. I just think that it's not stupid and wrong to listen even to someone who hurt you. It's something I should've learned before," he stated before a long silence which took over the space between us.

. . .

What Dad told me racked a lot of pondering from me. I was considering his words, and all the while I had been thinking about the worst scenarios that could come.

Dad was right.

I had unanswered questions in my head but I chose to ignore them because it seemed futile to know. It felt like there was no point anymore to get an explanation about everything in the past. I had accepted that what I had with Jungkook was over so it would be easier to let go. When in fact, I was just convincing myself that it was the best way to regain what I lost.