Breakthrough

State of Unreality

Chapter 1

"For after all, the best thing one
can do when it's raining
is, let it rain"

- Henry W. Longfellow

11 months later

Acceptance they say, is the easiest way to deal with pain . In her mind , it never was , never will be.

It was too painful

For accepting meant she would have to live with the truth , the horrendous terrible truth.

Accepting that her mom , didn't care, her mother chose to leave . Choosing to hurt her and her father . It meant that she never really mattered to Elijah, and he meant the suffering he caused . It meant accepting her father may be irredeemable. It meant accepting things as they were . Above all else, it meant accepting that Lucy Callahan may never wake up again. It meant accepting that , as the the truth.

So she chose to use an umbrella, didn't let the rain pour on her , and followed through life in a dream state.

A daze , of where she's waiting for her mother's return , that one sunny day, she would step foot in the threshold of what she once called home. That one bright afternoon she would get a call , the person on the apologizing , profusely, for the years away and the things said and unsaid. That one dusky night her father will be home, cooking and enjoying dinner with her . The stench of alcohol long gone, the bags under his eyes replaced , with crinkles for his wide smile and tears from all the laughter and jokes. That she'd be driving driving to the coffee shop , across town, quaint , homey and quiet; thinking of the stories she would share with her best friend. That her mom broke a vase , redecorating , insert eye roll; or her dad wearing his shirt on backwards to work , embarrassing. And then they would drive by "their park" talk, feed the ducks, talk , greet passers-by , talk , have a post-mates picnic. And after a long day , spend her night cuddled up to Luke, watching the news , a documentary or reading a book, tea mugs on the nightstands and blankets wrapped around them.

And that's why everything felt like a dream. A walking , talking , living nightmare, a blur of events she wants to be unreal, that no amount of buckets of cold water, could wake her from.

Another perfect description of how everything felt at that moment. It was like dream walking . It was reliving memories , she recalled but not through her eyes. Too vivid for the imagination yet too illusory to be real. She was remapping a memory. Reconnecting the stories.

So she recognized the sounds , the lights , the tastes, and the specific conversation they were about to have.

A long drive from the airport, a diner stop , and an ice cream stop later, we arrived at "our park" . The sun just about sinking on the horizon , dusting the sky with hues of pink and orange.

"Luce , how was Colorado?" I called out as I tucked the flat , wooden spoon from my mouth, to my giggling best friend, the ice cream kicking in.

Having previously discussed , her napped-through flight, and our quick pick up , and eat.

"Honestly, it was beautiful, the views and people , they were so magnificent. And I may have to return in a few months, for a new project . But I cannot help but feel guilty for building there , the nature of the place was calling to me I swear! Don't even know how I was able to leave" She replies wistfully

For an environmental architect , she tends to have projects that are eco-friendly , but are in the ecosystem itself. Reminiscing the architectural seminar , she had just attended in the beautiful Colorado.

"They offered a job there too , but I told them I had someone waiting for me back home" she had said , sitting sideways on the swing,as she threw a wink in my direction

"How about that , Mrs. Sharry you mentiones?" I had asked , about the fellow architect who was in her mid-50's , she had raved about , in our phone calls and video chats.

With an eye-roll , she groaned

" She kept throwing these looks at me, like I was some child that needed scolding, and every time I would take a picture , she would give snide comments , insinuating that I was there for instagram popularity. You know I'm actually really surprised , she has any idea what instagram is , like I get that , she's been on the field longer than me , and maybe even made more projects , but can't she just be nice?" Rhetorical , annoyed , and exaggerated , hands flailing wildly , nearly dropping her almost-empty paper cup.

"Did she say it directly ?"

"Well no..."

"Did you try to approach her about it"

"No"

"Did she ever say anything , straight out rude?"

"i just sai-"

"I meant straight-off, not by insinuating, did she"

"Well n-"

"Did you try to think, that she was trying to get to know you, in a more millennial-like way?"

"Mayb....no , not at all"

"And what should you have done?"

"Maybe ...been less assuming.."

"And?"

"More friendly and maybe a bit nicer"

"Only maybe?" Eyebrow raised

"Definitely a lot nicer, your right" swing push

"I kno-

SEDATIVES WEARING OFF

And before she could blink, she was no longer staring into the intoxicatingly frosty blue of Lucy's eyes. Instead she was sitting up , in an achromatic room, wired onto heart monitors, IV's , and scanners; across from Lucy's bed.

"In the span of 2 hours , we have noted several different changes in brain activity , spiking up multiple times , facial reactions , smiles, flinches and even minor finger movement. All recorded here , Doc." Michael , suddenly standing by her had briefed, the Assistant research analyst, as he handed over the filed papers and recording.

And that news alone, made her eyes crinkle and her lips widen into a smile .

Later that night, before she headed home. As she is combing the hair of her friend's pale face , in the comfort of the darkness , she is reminded the memory was just that, a memory . As she whispers endearing reminders in Lucy's ears; pain is wringing in her heart , acceptance could make everything so much easier.

And she knows what she needs to accept.

Standing up ,with a kiss to the forehead, from the stool at the bedside, as she shuts the door, she whispers to the hollow room.

"But I can't"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N: Thanks for reading ! Have a great Day or Night!

x Lean