I'm not Allowed to Love You

The Change of Heart (Draco's Perspective)

Oh, how I hated Potter. With his annoying smile, and his stupid little glasses. His... adorable eyes, and... beautiful smile. Horrible. I hated him. Obviously.

    "It's about time you admit it to yourself, Dray. The whole school already knows," Pansy said, exasperated, after I had just said that he didn't like Potter at all, with his stupid scar and stupid hair.

    "Why didn't you tell me if you knew?!" I questioned, furious.

    "Well, I just assumed...," said she, sarcastically. I stormed away, as she muttered something about drama queens.

    As I walked through the halls, people moved out of the way, too far out of the way. I pulled my robes tighter around me, to protect me. The people whispered, and pointed. I should have expected this, it happens every day. But this day, something was a bit different.

    "All hail the Death Eaters son! He's on the road to becoming his father, get in the way and you're only a dead body!" Someone called out mockingly. All the students laughed. They laughed, and pointed, stuck out legs to attempt to trip me, teased, hissed. I was not my father, I kept telling myself. I would not allow myself to become my father. But they didn't care. One person grabbed my robes and pulled. I hissed, completely accidentally, but this sent rages of laughter throughout the hallway, everyone hissing at me as I passed, like a snake. I broke into a run, hearing the people in the hallway behind me begin to run after me, but I was faster. I'm a fast runner. I shoved through the people who hadn't had enough time to  move to the sides, and in the confusion of the crowd, I flung open the door to the bathroom and locked myself in. I slumped against the wall, and before I could stop it, I was crying. Huge heaving sobs. The bathroom echoed them, making it louder, and it began to sound like there were more people crying than there were. But then a ghost floated out from one of the stalls, crying with little hiccuping tears.

    "Moaning Myrtle! What are you doing here?"

    "Oh, I just heard crying when I was floating through the pipes, you're a very loud crier," She answered vaguely.

    "Well I can't help that," I said, disgruntled and not in the mood to get teased about how I cried.

    "Why are you crying?" Myrtle asked suddenly.

    "I'd take a guess and say it's because I'm sad," I answered rudely. I really didn't want to spill everything to a ghost who could tell the whole castle.

    "Well there's no reason to be rude about it! I know about crying much more than you do," She said stiffly, her eyes filling with tears at the thought.

    "I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything, I just... I'm finding it hard to trust people. I used to have so many friends but now the whole school hates me because of my father! They're hissing at me, and going out of their way to not touch me. Pulling on my robes and trying to trip me," I started to cry again, but forced myself to keep talking. "I feel like I can't tell anyone anything! They can't know what I'm supposed to do! And to make matters worse, the person I fancy hates my guts! I mean, pure hatred! I never see anything but hate in those beautiful eyes! Nothing," I finish my rant with a note full of dejection and despair. Myrtle came and floated next to me.

    "I used to get bullied too," Myrtle whispered dispiritedly. "Olive Hornby. She alway used to tease me about my glasses. One day, I was so distressed that I hid in the girls bathroom. I heard someone come in, and they said something. But it was a boy talking, so I was about to tell him to go to his own toilet when I saw great, big eyes. And suddenly, I died."

    "Why did you decide to come back if your time at Hogwarts had been so terrible? I know I wouldn't come back."

    "Well, you see, I made a promise to myself to make Olive dread the day she teased me. She's the one who found my body. She thought I'd done it to myself, is what I heard. I haunted her for years after that. She'd always burst into tears when she saw me. Serves her right."

    I thought of the strange similarity between my issue and hers. I had always teased Potter, not ever him directly, of course, but his glasses were definitely high on the list.

    "Do you think she liked you, and that's why she was always teasing you? Because she didn't know how to deal with her feelings?" I asked, feeling bad for both of the girls.

    Myrtle frowned. "Well... possibly. I wish I could ask her now, but she killed herself out of grief a month or two after I stopped haunting her. I never thought about why."

"Yeah, I guess you should stop hating the people you love before it's too late," I say confidently, and begin to make my way out, before I pause and stick my head back through the door. "Swear you won't tell anyone about this."

When she nodded, I walked out of the bathroom feeling much better about my way of action. When I encountered Potter, we would talk.