CHILD | james b. barnes

| 49 |

Aftermath

49

Three days later.

EVER SINCE THE FIRST DAY we had moved back to the compound, my father and I didn't catch a wink of sleep, and whenever I tried to approach him, he avoided me.

It was not the first time he had almost killed me in his sleep- he'd done so when we were still on the run- but I guess it weighed down on his conscious heavier than before, simply because he wasn't so heartless, now that the 'Winter Soldier' part of him was almost gone.

And clearly Steve had done some sort of scolding towards him, because here I was now, sitting across from my papa with Steve to my left. It was 6:00 am, and seeing as my papa and I rarely slept, we weren't affected by the time.

Today was supposed to be my first day at school- thankfully with Peter. My schedule was matched with his, and I'd be going undercover as Anna Parker, Peter's cousin from Brooklyn.

So being awake at the moment wasn't a problem- I'd have to get ready for school anyway. The problem was the fact Steve had sat both of us down, because he'd noticed both of our attitudes.

"You can't avoid each other forever." Steve huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as my papa looked away from me with guilt.

"I'm not the one avoiding the other." I said pointedly, looking away with a frown.

My papa clearly didn't want to hurt me, and though I knew his intentions were good ones, I couldn't help but feel bitter for the way he completely ignored me. I was still a child, who needed a parent in my life, and though he wasn't related to me by blood, Bucky was my papa, whether he liked it or not.

"I don't want to hurt you." My papa said, avoiding my gaze as I looked back at him.

"Papa I already said it's alright." I said softly and he shook his head.

"No it's not that. It's just- you called me soldier, and that was the one thing to snap me out of my nightmare. Don't you think that's weird?" He said quietly and I furrowed my eyebrows, slightly confused.

He leaned back in his chair, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"You saying I have a new mission is the one thing that suddenly sends me back into reality? Shouldn't- shouldn't that be gone?" He continued and I slowly realized what he meant.

He had assumed all of the Winter Soldier was gone, and according to Shuri, that assumption wasn't wrong. His trigger words- the ones that turned him into a cold-hearted soldier- was gone. That was true, but at the same time. . .

"No." I said honestly and he looked up at me, confusion in his eyes. "I don't think that should be gone because. . .you're so used to 'standing to attention', right papa? It's most likely just a habit you can't shake off."

"But what if- what if it really didn't work? What if Shuri-" He started, doubt flickering between his eyes.

"What if I killed you?"

I breathed in sharply, and so did Steve. I shook my head vigorously, reaching forwards and grabbing his normal hand.

"You wouldn't- even when you weren't yourself, you wouldn't papa. I'm your gift, remember?" I whispered quietly and Steve gave both of us a confused look.

"But if I did-"

"Think about what happened," I said quickly, "and not what didn't happen. I'm alive and well, papa. And Shuri is a genius. She wouldn't have messed up."