13- Changkyun

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Either it was the walk or the fact that Hyungwon was at the dorm afterward, but it became easier for me to focus on studying for the exam. Which in turn, helped me get a good grade on it.

As I sat down in my next class, which was hours after the exam, I started to think about the conversation he and I had last night. I took out my notebook and pen as I realized why he had become nervous when I asked to see his scars one day. Starting to panic, I felt my cheeks start to burn as I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment.

"Did he think I was talking asking to see his body in THAT way? Why else would he get so nervous? What the hell did I do? To make it worse, I was so calm when I asked." I thought, still keeping my hands over my face, trying to breathe.

"Hey, you good?" The familiar voice of Kihyun spoke. The older sat down next to me with a concerned look.

"O-oh it's nothing. Um, how are you and Hyunwoo?" I asked trying to avoid talking about my mistake.

"Okay. Well, we're good. Officially boyfriends now," He was so happy just at the mention of how they were now official. "Oh! So Hoseok and I went over to Hyunwoo's house for dinner and met Hyejin, his sister. Hoseok was so into her and I got him to ask her out on a date today. Actually I think he leaves by the time class ends." Kihyun said checking his watch. Hearing that Hoseok had started moving on enough to go on a date with someone made me happy for him.

"Really? Finally, he's moving on." I saw the face of the older become confused before he said anything else.

"M-moving on. What do you mean?"

"From me. Moving on from me." I answered still wondering why he was so confused.

"Wait. You knew and didn't say anything?" The older suddenly shouted and stood up. Catching me off guard and apparently many others in the room waiting for class as well. I looked around to see almost everyone in the room looking at us.

"Why are you yelling? Sit down. We'll talk about this later when you're not trying to make a scene." Kihyun was no longer confused, he was angry. His face was heated with anger as he whipped his head towards the front of the room and sat down. I couldn't understand what had made him this way so suddenly. The whole class he didn't glance at me once.

~~~

I followed Kihyun through the door to his and Hoseok's place, lightly shutting it behind me. The older sat down on one end of the couch and gestured for me to sit down on the other end. When I sat down, Kihyun took a deep breath and then spoke.

"How long have you known?" His voice showed that he was trying not to let his anger take over.

"How long have I known Hoseok liked me? Well, after he scared off my first boyfriend it became pretty obvious." I replied quickly as I noticed him start to let his emotion take over.

"First off, he doesn't just like you, he's fucking in love with you. Second, why didn't you say anything if you knew? Why didn't you at least tell me? Do you know how much I've had to do to keep this from you for apparently no reason at all?" His voice gradually got louder with every sentence.

I didn't know that Kihyun was even aware of Hoseok's feelings. I had said nothing about it in an effort to avoid anything like this. Anger, sadness, hurting. I had ended up causing exactly what I had tried stopping. Extreme emotions like those could break us apart and I wouldn't know how to cope without them. They were the only ones keeping me going. I had decided to keep it to myself after a month of contemplation when I first figured out how Hoseok felt. As I thought of what to say, I realized that my biggest fear wasn't being alone. It's losing someone.

"I should have told you, I see that now, but I was terrified of losing either of you," my mind was suddenly flooded with the memories of the best friend who left me. "Not after what's happened to me." My voice came out brittle and weak.

Kihyun's expression changed to worry in an instant. He almost spoke before we were interrupted by the fast and heavy steps coming towards us. I felt my heart sink as fear took over all of me. Hoseok's face showed the battle within him to say anything through the heavy tears. I was numb and terrified as he stood there trying to say something. In the end, he couldn't speak and ran out the door.

As soon as the door slammed shut I cried. I had destroyed our friendship which would cause it to be hard on Kihyun and hurt our friendship as well. Then, they'll both leave me. I brought my legs up to hug them as I continued to cry. The thoughts of the two people who helped me get over the last person who left me leaving too crowded my mind. So much that I had almost not noticed when Kihyun started hugging me, but it felt like he was putting all his strength into the hug. After what felt like an hour of sobbing, when it was only about twenty minutes, I was finally able to say something.

"S-shouldn't you be m-more worried about H-hoseok?" I choked out as I brought my head out from between my knees.

"As soon as I know you're okay I will call him, and you know he likes to be alone when he's crying anyways. I swear to you, we aren't leaving you. It may take him a little time to get over it, but he will. We love you, Changkyun, so don't for a second believe the things I know you're telling yourself. Go back to the dorm okay? I will call you in the morning when I've talked to Hoseok."

~~~

Once Kihyun had made sure I was done crying, I did as he said and went back to the dorm. It was late when I got there so I tried to open the door quietly to not wake Hyungwon. My efforts were useless when I noticed him awake sitting on his bed with his phone in hand.

"Where were- are you okay? What happened?" the taller said as he saw me come in with my eyes still puffy. I had planned on him being asleep to keep from him seeing me like this.

"N-nothing." I might as well whispered. I kept my face down and turned to put my stuff on my desk when I felt the warmth of another body cover my back. The comfort was overwhelming and, surprisingly, I kept myself from crying more. I couldn't help but turn around and hug Hyungwon back. Feeling his long arms wrap around me as I buried my face in his hoodie taking in the faintly familiar scent. The taller moved us to lay on his bed not breaking the embrace. His fingers in my hair as the tiredness I had been ignoring started taking over.

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