Gabriel Agreste is given two options - he hands over the butterfly miraculous to Ra's Al Ghul - in order to gain access to the Lazarus Pits to revive his late wife, Emilie. Or - he hands over the ladybug miraculous - and be granted immortality; for...
He was one of her closest friends at that. Why did he-
The black cat. Often known as a sign of death or destruction.
Chat Noir.
Black Cat.
You just destroyed a heartfelt trust.
Fuck you.
Marinette threw the note down, mad. No, she wasn't mad. She was PISSED. Downright, ready to fuck someone up to a point where the only thing that fifty chocolate macarons would be the only thing they'll be choking on for the next millenia. Or until they died of lack of oxygen.
Oh ho ho, Chat Noir was now on her death list. No one messes with Marinette, or Tikki.
[With the Wayne Family]
(Read with Russian Accent)
"This may look like ordinary plastic bottle with rubber glove on it, but I assure you, it is not," Ashe (OC) held the said, 'ordinary plastic bottle with rubber glove on it,' in front of Duke's confused face. "...because when you squeeze you get middle finger that say, 'fuck you!'" the rubber middle finger bopped Duke in the nose.
"Ahahaha... okay, two things: one) Can we concentrate? And two, I thought you lost your accent?" Ashe squinted, confuzzled. "HUh? What do you mean? I always had this accent. I just cover it up with my stunning 'American' accent."
"Right..." From the other side of the room, Dick laughed. "Your accent sucks." Ashe frowned at him. "You suck. Specifically, you suck Wally's dick." Duke's mouth formed into an 'o,' while Dick turned red. "To be fair, he enjoys it." Ashe and Duke cringed. "We don't need to fucking details, bro."
Dick shrugged. "Just doing my job as the oldest (azuredriver) sibling, ruining my little siblings 'innocent' minds." Ashe coughed at the oldest part. (azuredriver) Biologically, Ashe was the oldest, but let's not go there, this is about Daminette, not my oc.
Bruce walked in, eyeing the situation. "What happened here?" the glove-bottle laid on the floor of Bruce's Parisian vacation home. On one of the couches, Tim was sprawled across it, attempting to defeat the Enderdragon in Minecraft. Jason was Face-Timing Roy, who was currently in the middle of a Star Wars movie marathon, based on the 'vooming' of the lightsabers and the background music. Cass was raiding the fridge, hiding all the ice cream under her black oversized sweater to share with Steph, who was in their bedroom, cursing at a sea gull on their balcony.
"Uh... Duke and I are trying to hack into the Agreste-" Duke clapped his hand over his friend's mouth, silencing the fallen angel. Bruce arched an eyebrow. Duke cleared his throat. "What Ashe MEANT to say, is that we're trying to... oh no, is Cassie trying to steal ALL ice cream?!"
Duke pointed at the huge lump in Cassandra's sweater. "Me? Nooo... I'm... just... pregnant. Thirty-six weeks..." a tub of green tea ice cream fell out, falling to the floor. Cass gasped. "Dad, I think I just had a miscarriage... you just lost your grandchild!"
Bruce gave her a blank stare. Cass quickly picked up the tub, running into her room while trying to keep the ice cream containers hiding behind her jacket from falling out. Bruce sighed, rubbing his temples. Just why were his kids so... weird?
"Miscarriage my ass, Cassandra... alright. You all know your roles for the Agreste gala, right?"
"The oldest and social child. Wow the crowd while endorsing Wayne Enterprises with my quirky ways," Dick brushed his waist length hair (I fucking live for long-haired Grayson) with a stylish comb.
"Good. Jason?" Jason, without looking up from Roy's face, answered. "The second child. The heart-throb. The one that radiates the big dick energy-"
"Okay, just because you're the only male top in this family, doesn't mean that you have to flex, Jason," Dick glared at Jason. Bruce began feeling around his pockets, trying to find his packet of Tylenol or aspirin. "I'm a top!" Ashe raised her hand. "But do you have a dick though?" Jason pointed out. "There's a thing called a-"
"For the record, Jason does have a big dick-" Tim slurped his coffee. "HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT?!" Tim looked at Duke. "I have my preferences." Duke once again cringed. Being asexual in a family where sex jokes were constantly being made was hard.
See what I did there?
'Hard?'
Eh? Eh? EHHHHHHHHHHHHH????
Bruce face-palmed, leaving the room to his bedroom. Oh, how he wished Alfred was here. "Oh, oh! Remember that time Jason's pants were cut off during patrol one night and he had to run around in Minnie Mouse underwear?" Ashe recalled. "Really, it wasn't that big of a deal, considering the fact that Ashe pretty much runs around in the tightest pair of booty shorts to ever exist-"
"Oh, so now, we're going to slut-shame MY costume? Let's have a little talk about your original costume, Jason," Ashe snarked, referring to the 'used tampon' look Jason used to 'pill' off.
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Different snickers sounded from across the room.
[With Marinette]
"OHMAGAWD OHMAGAWD OHMAGAWDDDD! TIIIKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIII!" Marinette sobbed. It had been about an hour since Marinette had discovered that Tikki was, *ahem*, 'cat-napped.' I'll stop.
(End of Chapter Two, 'cause... I want to end it here!)
