Love Uncaged

8

Mocha’s POV:

I finally broke down at my own thoughts of Ivan only seeing me as some black market mouse boy so I began to cry. Now I’m laying here with my face nuzzled into my chest as he holds me close to him. His response to me earlier bouncing around in my head and I wonder if he really means it. Does he see me as more than that or is he trying to trick me to spare my feelings? I want to trust him and be close to him but I am scared of rejection by him, if I one day mess up. I grip onto his shirt as if I’m scared he’ll disappear if I let go now. My voice comes out in a shaky whisper, “I’m sorry Master Ivan..”

He sighs and I feel the vibration through his chest as he begins speaking, “Don’t apologize Mocha and stop calling me ‘master’. You aren’t my servant or anything of the sort so just call me ‘Ivan’ please.” I nod into his chest as my response because I was feeling too exhausted to speak anymore. Eventually I fell asleep in his arms, feeling at peace.

Waking up the next morning I can feel that Ivan is still holding me in his arms and I smile to myself thinking about how his skin always feels so cold yet makes me feel so relaxed in his arms. It’s become a habit of his to eventually roll over and hold me close to him but yesterday was different. He was awake and fully aware of what his actions were as he pulled me into bed. I shifted in his grasp slightly, trying to get up and go to the bathroom but his grip only tightened before hearing his mumbled morning voice. “mmh stay. You’re warm and comfy to cuddle,” he cuddles up closer and holds on tighter. I blushed at his confession, “I have to use the bathroom Ivan… Like really bad.”

He let go and mumbled in a sleepy voice, “Hurry back before I get cold.” I quickly made my way to the bathroom smiling to myself as I remember his words. Does he really enjoy sleeping next to me that much? I love feeling his cold skin pressed up against my heated body but I never would have thought he would confess that he enjoyed it too. After washing my hands, I step out of the bathroom and make my way to my side of the bed again but laying further away from Ivan. I wondered if he would try to hold me again or if he didn’t actually care enough to bother.

To my surprise, I soon felt his cold hard chest press itself against my back and his arms snake their way over me pulling me into his tight embrace. My face heated up as I felt my heart beat faster and I slowly relaxed into his touch. “Mocha do you like living here with me? Do you like sharing a room and a bed with me?” Ivan’s questions caught me off guard making me quickly turn to look into his eyes. I studied his face while trying to figure out why he would suddenly ask something like that. “Why are you asking me that so suddenly? You haven’t really given me a reason to dislike living here. Sure it’s weird that we share a bed when I am sure you would rather some beautiful woman lying here with you but I don’t hate it,” I started to ramble feeling uneasy as I stared into his piercing eyes that of course resembled eyes of a real snake.

He sighs before breaking our eye contact so he can sit up leaning against the headboard of the bed. Doing the same I wait for him to speak, staring down at my hands fiddling in my lap. “Mocha you are the first person allowed in this bed with me. Yeah I have slept with women but they were never in this house and they especially were not in this bed. I like having you next to me at night because you’re warm and your scent puts my mind at ease. I only asked because I don’t want you to feel as though you have to stay here against your own free will. I never want to force you into something you don’t want-” Before he could finish I found myself leaning into him as my lips pressed onto his. I have never kissed someone before so it was rough and in the moment, but I was hoping he understood what I was trying to convey to him through the intimate action. 

When I broke away from the kiss, I felt my face heat up in embarrassment as he looked at me in shock, staring into my eyes as if he were looking for something. I began one of my nervous rambles hoping I hadn’t made him angry or uncomfortable. I was saying a bunch or apologies and backing away from him almost falling off the bed in my panicked state. He only chuckled for a moment before he began to reassure me, “Mocha calm down and come here please. I am far from angry or uncomfortable with you right now. I am just confused and want to make sure you understand what kissing someone like that means.” I slowly made my way back to him like he asked but was feeling uneasy still. “I  think I understand what kissing someone like that means. It means ‘I want to spend forever with you’ right? That’s what I was told when I was younger by the older mouse lady who cared for me,” leaning against the headboard again I looked up into Ivan’s eyes to see him staring back at me. His stare felt more intense than usual and I wasn’t sure why.