Sin City

pt 16. miss graduate

I'm excited to start learning and studying to achieve my goals and I can't wait but I can't help but feel like my goals stop after college. As if my mind doesn't accept that I will still exist once I get my degree. Of course I want to get married and have children but I think I only want that because that's the norm, I'm expected to want those things.

"NYU is a great school I was even hoping that in a few years I would be able to teach Social Psychology, my favorite when I was there." My face brightened at the thought of maybe seeing a friendly face there. "You would be a great teacher." I said honestly.

"Thank you," he returned the smile, "so, let's talk about this male that has weaseled his way into your life hmm?" I smiled and looked away trying to contain the blush that worked its way on my cheeks.

"We aren't dating we're just, going with the flow I guess." Dean squinted his eyes and nodded with a sneaky smile.

"Do you have any intentions to maybe further explore the relationship?" He asked and I immediately thought of course. I've always wanted to be with Sin, at one point I couldn't ever imagine not being with him. I've seen women walk out of his room twice wearing barley any clothing and one completely topless. She even told Marco they had- they had feelings for each other. How could I just completely forget about that? Was she his girlfriend?

"Alright let it out, I watched your face fall completely." Dean said giving me the look and I felt my heart beating quickly. "When we were still not really speaking women would come out of his office with barley any clothing, and once there was a topless woman who told his best friend they had feelings for each other, and- and I can't be a home wrecker, what if-" I didn't realize I was breathing so heavily until Dean snapped my name stopping my rant.

"You need to breathe Clover, now let's talk through this slowly." He chuckled calmly and I nodded taking a small sip of my pomegranate water. "Alright, there was an indecently dressed woman," I but in, "on his lap." And Dean widened his eyes a little bit. "On his lap, who explained to his best friend that they had feelings for each other." I nodded and Dean sighed brushing his hands over his chin.

"Well, I think this is something you need to discuss with him." I nodded and stayed quiet thinking about how the conversation may go. Will he tell me that's his girlfriend and the few kisses we shared were all a disgusting mistake and I'm ugly and he could never like me and- "You really punish yourself with your own thoughts." I looked up at Dean and let out a breath shaking my head slightly getting out of my own head.

This session needed to be a little shorter since I needed time to get ready for Graduation. I smiled and made my way to the door, "what's your name again?" Dean didn't look at me and just stayed put in his chair reading a book he had picked off his shelf.

"Clover." I watched him closely as he shook his head and wore a small smile.

"I'll see you later miss graduate." I chuckled and shut the door after saying a quick bye.

I walked out of the building and out to the black car that I'm soon becoming familiar with. Sin started it up right when I buckled my seat belt, "I don't know why you go there." I looked at him confused as he just stared ahead. I tried to read his emotion but I couldn't find one at all. "It helps." I mumbled and shifted uncomfortably now feeling embarrassed.

It was silent a few more minutes as we got closer to Luke's apartment. It was tense and I racked my brain for every possible reason he could be acting like this and couldn't find one. Sin pulled up to Luke's apartment not bothering to park but just driving up and stopping quickly. I glanced at him but he didn't make any move to unbuckle or turn off the car like he normally would.