...Until You've Lived Like Kings & Queens - 2. BOOK - Take That FF (in English)

I'm Lost Without You Tonight

After Gary had Ayda Robbie's words confirm that she no longer intended to part with Robbie in the slightest and that he had even "come closer" to her, some of his burdens were taken off his shoulders. But it wasn't even enough to give him a good and liberated feeling. Too much had just happened. To ever be able to forget all this will be a life's work and more than difficult. He will never be able to get away from it. That was completely impossible. It will never be the same again. Never. Even if one day he will returned to his family and went about normal life. But the road to that point was still very long and will most likely bring with it quite a few problems. The chaos was pre-programmed.

Anyway, after a rather short exchange of words between Ayda and Gary - followed by a simple handshake, the latter got something right to eat. Although Gary only wanted a loaf of bread, the Williams couple were able to convince him to eat a hot meal.

With a full stomach then, they finally tried to find a solution to three - what was going on and Gary's temporary sleep arrangement should look like. Of course, he had been offered the big guest room at first, but Gary had thankfully refused and would really prefer something serious like a tree house. But this was something that Ayda couldn't get over her heart and thus allow. No. In their opinion, Gary had already lived on the street for far too long and where he lived accordingly like a homeless man. It was time for him to regain a fair bit of normality. Gary deserved it all the time. Even Robbie's counter-argument - which of course meant that Gary would rather start with something smaller and simpler - Ayda couldn't let him stay in the garden, despite her understanding. Just for the reason, because recently a big puma was seen again and again at the dark night hours. ...She just didn't want to expose Gary to any dangers. Although it was unlikely that the animal would suddenly appear in her huge garden and look for a possible meal.

Although Gary had no problems with this and had already one or two times night ly an alike visits of animals of different sizes - although he had actually encountered such a puma before, Ayda still did not want to take any risks. It was also the reason why Ayda didn't want Robbie to walk alone through the hills of Hollywood with Gazza in the early morning. So another solution had to be found, with which Gary could make some friends and accept it. At the suggestion that Gary could settle in the large niche in the living room for the time being and spread it wide, the risen from death finally settled on it. At least until he had entrusted himself with his new environment and was ready to take another step forward.

Time passed and when the night fell and shortly afterwards the hour at bedtime struck, Ayda was the first to say goodbye to the night's rest and left the two men alone. After she disappeared towards the upper floor, Robbie stayed with his friend for about an hour. While the two talked about inconsequential things and tried to take a careful look forward, the younger Gary at some point taught what he already knew about Mark and thus had become of the others. Left Jason England, married Howard and Mark had a third child himself. In response to the story, Gary became more and more immersed in his thoughts and wondered if he wanted to have his previous life back at all. Even though the others and his former friends had made something of their lives in the last five years and he would like to imitate them, he had some doubts that this could end well for him.

Why should it? After all, he was declassified by a madman for years and brought to great happiness. It was only when his life situation slowly improved with the help of the comeback and he was suddenly in demand again - although during this time he even got closer again with Robbie and the two were able to build a new and much stronger bond of friendship, everything was taken away from him again, piece by piece. His family, his friends - from whom he had become more and more distant. His partly restricted activities with his right arm, which he felt especially on rainy days and during weather change. His questionable and continuing leading existence and of course ...himself.

On his outward appearance that he was on the verge of falling asleep, even though Gary was much more immersed in his thoughts and was more in a lethargic state, Robbie muttered something about the fact that he was now probably better left alone for a hopefully short period of time and thus gave him a hopefully restful night's sleep. When Gary noticed that Robbie was no longer by his side and he was frustrated by the lack of warmth that had emanated from him, he quickly looked forward and saw his friend just leaving the room. Gary wanted to call him after that, that he should not leave him alone for the first night here. But he only produced a whispering and more than miserable "Rob?". He didn't really leave him alone, did he?

As soon as Robbie had disappeared from his field of vision, Gary was immediately received by this extremely horrible and icy emptiness, which once again made him despair. There was a feeling that he had been tormented to the blood for more than five years, and in the process more than questioned his existence. That there was no longer any point in living even further. Although during this time a disembodied voice had repeatedly whispered to him that he should finally put a final end to this, Gary had never found the strength or the courage to do it. That is, three times he had tried it, but he could never really pull it through. Take the final step. His fear of dying was still far too great.

Even if Gary was now in a different environment and should feel a little relieved, nothing of the sort happened at the moment. The spark of hope that until recently had been given new life inside had disappeared. Gary needed Robbie in his immediate vicinity otherwise he wouldn't survive the night. The danger that he might be able to do something for himself a fourth time - especially with his new opportunities here - was not exactly small.

In order to escape this freezing cold and the more than horrible voice that now reverberates in his head, he pulled his legs to his torso and clutched it as if it were about his life. As soon as Gary had put himself in this all-too-often used position, he suddenly got company from his new little friend, who looked at him compassionately from his big, black eyes. Gazza. At one point, Gary put a hand on his little head and tried not to feel alone with his help. At first it worked, but over time he wanted Robbie to do more and more. One or two hours passed when Gary couldn't stand it any longer. He had to do something and that ...before he did something ill-considered.

In the middle of the night, when the little pointer had already passed the three and left behind, half of the Williams' estate was suddenly ripped out of deep sleep by a marker-shattering scream and it really had it in it. Somehow it sounded as if one was suffering from hellish torment. Which suddenly made Robbie more than just awake. For a brief moment, he had really forgotten that there was another person under their roof. One who until recently was believed to be dead. ... Gary!

He wouldn't be...? No. He simply did not want to realize this idea and certainly did not want to continue. Gary couldn't do that to him. No. Please, don't.

Drivenby the fear that he might find his friend in a frightening and shocking statein no time, he quickly opened the ceiling - with Ayda getting his half in theface and hurrying to get by his side. ...

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Chapter Title: Ghosts - RW