The Devil Wears Girl Jeans [BEING EDITED]

The Devil Wears Girl Jeans (Epilogue)

I always lose my appetite in the weeks following a traumatizing event, so when I finally start to feel better, the first thing I realize is that I can clearly see my ribcage and all my extra small t-shirts fit like muumuus. Like a human vacuum cleaner, I inhale every scrap of food I can find, which is exactly what I was doing in the airport food court while Tristan watched me from a distance.

I grabbed the armload of food off of the counter and thanked the cashier, heading back to the bench where he was waiting for me, knee deep in suitcases. Three months had passed since Sammy's funeral, and as much as I hadn't wanted this day to come, today was the day that Tristan left for university.

“How long until your flight?” I asked, bracing myself for the answer even thought I already knew.

“I board in 10 minutes.” Tristan sighed, tossing his backpack over his shoulder. My hands trembled as I bent down to help him with his suitcases, and he let out a shaky breath.

“This is for you,” he told me, handing me a light blue envelope with a slight bulge in the middle. I started to open it, but he stopped me. “Don't read it until I'm gone.”

“Alright,” I said quietly, and he pulled me in for a hug just as a lady's voice came on the PA telling everyone that pre-boarding for flight 621 to Arizona had begun.

“That's me,” he sighed, pulling away hesitantly and hiding his face. I grabbed his chin and tilted his head up so that I could see his face, only to find his eyes filled with tears.

“Allergies,” he explained quickly, and I raised my eyebrows, smiling.

“Oh really? What're you allergic to?”

“Goodbyes.” he murmured, just as the same lady came back on the PA system to announce the final boarding call for Tristan's flight.

“It looks like this is it.” he said, staring at me thoughtfully for a long time before pulling me into a bear hug. “Don't forget the letter.”

Then he pulled away, and with a sad smile and a half hearted wave, he headed towards the gate. He stopped suddenly, and took a hesitant step towards me, as if he was unsure of what to do next. “I love you,” he called, and then I told him I loved him too, and then with a sad smile he disappeared through the gate, for real this time.

Tristan was gone.

************************

I found it funny that the only place where I felt at peace was also the place that made me the saddest. I turned off the car and headed down the stone path that I'd followed countless times over the last few months, letting out a long breath that turned to fog in the autumn air.

The once fresh dirt over Sammy's grave was now turning into grass, and I sat down at the foot of it, pulling my sleeves down over my hands to keep warm.

“I miss you,” I told him, but was only answered by the sound of the slight breeze rustling the leaves above me.