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Rin Yamaoka: Steeped in Blood

Rin sits at her desk dreading the end of the school day. Not because she enjoys junior high or because she respects her teachers, but because she despises being forced to learn kendo. But her father demands it. He demands that she practice the way of the sword. Not just practice. Excel. She's a Yamaoka. The Yamaoka's come from a proud legacy. A samurai legacy. He reminds her of this every day, and every day the kids tease and humiliate her, telling her she has no business in their class, telling her she should wield a broom not a shinai. She ignores them and tries her best. Maybe if she excels with a katana, her father will feel better. He hasn't been himself as of late. Frustrated. Irritable. Reactive. She can't do anything right. Nor can her mother. He has become very quiet and talks and argues with himself. She doesn't understand what's happening to him, but she knows he is suffering and the last thing she wants is to add to his pain. Family is everything and maybe one day she'll be okay with wielding a katana. Maybe she'll even enjoy it.

Rin's bones feel brittle and ready to collapse under the weight of the armour. She holds her bamboo shinai up to her opponent. I want this to be over. Can't this just be over. Her opponent insults her. He tells her there's a shattered window in the changing room she ought to clean before someone cuts themselves. Janitor-Yamaoka. He laughs. He makes another janitor joke at her expense. A sudden heat rushes up her face. She wants to shove the shinai down his throat. See how he laughs with wood and splinters piercing through his stomach.

Splinters piercing through his throat? Where did those thoughts come from? It's not like her to think such thoughts. She angles her shinai and feels something strange inside. She's never felt anything like it before. Like... like a waking dragon in her heart. She stares at her grinning opponent. Faster than thought she lunges and strikes the head of her opponent. Everyone laughs at him. His head slumps in mingled defeat and humiliation. A boy stares at her with wide, disbelieving eyes. He blinks. You might be a Yamaoka after all. She hates to admit it but... it feels good to win. No. Not to win. To defeat a foe. To defeat another human being. Defeat another human being? Why would I think this? These aren't my thoughts. But they are.

She doesn't understand what happened. What thing came over her to give her the strength to contend with the boy in front of her. He isn't laughing anymore. He glares at her. She beat him. Not once. Not twice. Thrice. The boys continue to stare at her open-mouthed. Something is changing in Janitor-Yamaoka. They know it. She knows it. She feels the waking dragon in her heart. It's the closest she's ever felt to being... a fighter... a warrior... a Yamaoka... and she likes it... likes being treated with respect... likes being taken seriously. For an instant she imagines herself beside the great Renjiro Yamaoka and his son Kazan. Something tugs in her heart and the dragon stirs... and the dragon... she realises... is the waking of her raging Yamaoka blood.

Janitor Yamaoka! You got lucky! Let's see how lucky you really are! Boys close in on her. Cursing. Jesting. Shouting. She wants to run but doesn't see an opening. She wants to apologise for being good with a shinai, but the waking dragon inside her heart won't allow it. She didn't do anything wrong. She has no reason to apologise. She finally did what she was supposed to do and now they close in on her as though she had cheated... as though they could see the dragon that had helped her. She feels scared. Where is that dragon now? Where is the spirit of her ancestors?

She raises a pleading hand for her abusers to stop. You will pay! You made me look foolish! For a moment there is an opening between two boys and there's no hesitation, only action. She charges through and storms across the school yard with a group of angry boys in pursuit. She quickly ducks behind a garbage bin and watches the boys run past her. One stops... turns toward the bins... narrows his gaze. She holds her breath. She can hear her heart pounding in her head. Why hide!? You are better than these peasants! Stand and show them who you are! But she does not reveal herself. She hides and wishes that waking dragon to go back to sleep.

Rin emerges from hiding and begins her long walk home. The dragon in her heart admonishes her for hiding. Tells her she is more than her tormentors and should never cower before bullies and abusers. She's not sure what she should have done or what she should think. Maybe she should have faced them. Maybe she should have confronted them. Maybe she should have beaten them down and torn them limb from limb. Limb from limb? What am I thinking? Where did that come from? Limb from limb? What dark thoughts are these?

Before she can answer her own question, she hears a voice. She hears... her tormentors jeering and spewing insults at her. She doesn't turn around. She doesn't run. She doesn't run because she knows what's coming and she doesn't care. The dragon within tells her everything's going to be okay. The boys throw garbage at her. Call her Janitor-Yamaoka! Janitor-Yamaoka! Janitor-Yamaoka! She knows what's next. She sees it in her mind's eye like samurai of old. They'll push her down. Surround her. Punch and kick her. But this time she won't let the pain defeat her. She won't let the fear paralyse her. She'll use the fear and the pain to feed the dragon. Today her bullies will feel teeth and claws... they will feel her wrath... and they will learn... she is a Yamaoka!