Not Just Another Number

Can't Go Back

My legs start shaking and I feel my hands heat up against my arms from where I was holding myself. No no no no, I told myself I would never go back! Please, I don't wanna be in the dark again!

"Sarah. You coming in?" Johnathan calls. I gulp and nod my head. I force myself to move forward, regretting every step. I walk into the room slowly and stay by the wall.

As Will sits on the bed in the center, I start to look around. I look up at the ceiling, breath catching in my throat.

In the corners and along the upper walls, I can see hundreds of burn marks. On certains ceiling tiles, I can see obvious water damage.

Flashback~

"No!" I scream as the bad people throw me into my room. I fall onto my back, coughing violently. "Please!" I plead. I quickly get up and run to the door, but the shut it before I can reach them.

I hear them lock the door, with a defening click. I bang on the door, my body heating up. I start to cry. All I can see are my hands, which are glowing with bright flames.

I scream and cry as I throw fire at the walls and ceiling, trying to make Father notice. No one comes for me.

After moments of throwing fire at the room, the flames start to die. "No no no!" I cry as the room gets darker. I fall down and hold my hands out. "Please! Scared!" I scream.

Finally, the flames die, not even leaving a single spark. I bring my hands up to my face and cover my mouth. My breathing is all hiccupy, and it won't stop. Stop Three! Father will be angry! Be in dark room longer.

I try to make the hiccupy breaths go away, but they become worse. I close my eyes and try to make the darkness go away, but like every other time, it doesn't work.

End of Flashback~

I feel my eyes start to water as my whole body shakes. It feels like my head is splitting in two. I turn to the wall next to me and jump back. There's a burn mark in the shape of a small body.

"Sorry about the condition of the room, we honestly don't know what went on in here." Owens apologizes.

"Sarah?" Hopper calls. I turn around to face him, not even bothering to put up a front. "Sweetie, your nose is bleeding. Are you okay?" Mom asks, walking up to me.

I bring my hand up and touch my upper lip. I pull my hand back to see bright red blood. I gulp nervously, but suddenly my surroundings disappear.

I'm back in a dark room. I can't hear anything except for screaming. It sounds like a woman, and it sounds like she's in pain. I cower and step back, hitting a wall.

"Sarah..." A voice calls. I shake my head and try to stay standing, but my legs are about to give out. "Sarah!" The voice yells.

A hand suddenly comes out from the darkness and grabs my shoulder. I jump and look down at the arm. The room comes back slowly, revealing the owner of the arm.

I look up to see Hopper's concerned face. I see everyone else staring at me. "I-I'm fine." I choke out.

Hopper and Mom share a look before nodding. Hopper's grip on my shoulder tightens as he moves me to the door. "We'll be right back Dr.Owens." He says as he pushes me out of the room.

I try to fight him, but I can't help but feel better once I'm out of the cursed room. But he doesn't just stop with taking me out of the room. He directs me to elevator and out of the lab.

He finally stops pushing me once we reach the cars. I put my hand out and swat away his hands. "Hop, what was that for?" I ask.

"Are you serious? You looked like you were gonna pass out in there. What was that about?" He asks, putting his hands on his hips.

I sigh and sit down on the pavement. I put my face in my hands and just shake my head. "It's not important. Let's just go back in, I've gotten my breather." I say, but I don't bother getting up.

"No, we need to talk about what happened in there. It's obvious something about that room is making you act that way." He says.

I look up at him and wipe the blood from my nose. Might as well tell someone about this shit. I sigh and pat the spot next to me. He raises an eyebrow and looks at me weirdly. "Do you want me to talk or not? Sit." I say, pointing at the ground again.

He huffs, but obliges. He sits down and places his arms on his kness. I sigh and look ahead, not wanting to see the pity on his face after I tell him.

"That was my room."

"What?"

"The room they're doing Will's check up, that was my old room. They would lock me in there if I did something they didn't like. Those scortch marks, I made those in the many meltdowns I had. "

I hold myself closer, feeling tears begin to form in my eyes. "It was always so dark. No matter how loudly I screamed, they never let me out. I just....I can't be in that room. I just can't do it." I choke out, feeling the tears fall down my face.

I wipe them away before looking over at Hopper. His face glows with pity. He puts his hand on my shoulder and pats it a little. "I'm sorry kid."

I give him a small smile and nod. "It's all good. You didn't know, no one did." I sigh and push myself up. I dust off my pants and step away from the car. I glare at the lab, but at least I'm not shaking anymore.

"C'mon, they're probably waiting for us." I say, looking back. Hopper quickly gets up and starts shaking his head. "No. No way I'm letting you back in there. You'll just wait out here until they're done."

"What?! But I have to be in there. I can't just wait out here!"

"But you said it yourself, you can't be in that room."

"I-I never said I would stay in the room. And if I have to, I will. For Will." I say, trying to prove my point, despite my shaking hands.

Hopper sighs as he rubs his temples. "Kid, I'm ordering you to stay out here. You want to help Will, stay out here and ask him how it goes once it's done. You're of no help to him, or anybody, if you're moments away from a break down every time you're in that room."

I look down, defeated. He's right though. I can't really do anything for Will if I'm panicing in there. I nod my head and cross my arms. "Fine. I'll stay out here, but just this once."

"No can do. You are not allowed in that lab, let alone that room, for as long as Will needs treatment." He orders.

"What?!? You can't do that! You're not my father."

"No, but I am your boss. And I will speak to Joyce about this too." He says walking away. I run up to him and pull on his arm, making him turn around.

"But you can't! I have to stay with Will, no matter what!"

"He'll be fine with your mom and Johnathan."

"But-but..."

"But what?" He pushes. I let go of his arm and take a step back.

"I don't want anything to happen to him. It's my fault this happened in the first place! If I had just stayed with him, he wouldn't have been taken. What else could happen if I'm not with him?" I blow up.

I feel more tears fall down my face, but I don't bother wiping them. Suddenly, I feel Hopper hug me. He places a hand on my head and pats my hair. "He'll be safe, trust me. Not only will your family be with him, but if it makes you feel better, I'll watch Owens. I'll keep stuff like that from happening. And it wasn't your fault kid, you had no way of knowing that was going to happen." He reassures me.

I nod and wipe my face again, rubbing my eyes a little raw. He lets go of me and takes a step back. "Fine. I'll take a step back from this. But if anything ever happens, please call me on my radio. I still want to help." I ask in a small voice.

He nods his head. "Sure." He turns around and starts to walk back to the lab, saying a quick goodbye. I wave goodbye to him and lean against my car.

I sigh as I pull out a pack of cigarettes. I take one out and light it with my thumb. I take in a long drag and let it out slowly. I guess Hopper's right. I just hope to God nothing happens while I'm not with them.