~ 𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨 ~

four : nightmares

He can't escape the fear of losing Eddie or the fear of being beaten to death because of his sexuality.

The raven-haired man can't close his eyes without seeing the love of his life deceased in his clutch.

He can't touch or even look at the prominent scar on his lovers back and chest.

Richie can't even touch his cheek without imagining him crawled into a corner, blood scattered over his chest as a steady stream flowed from his wound.

He can't make any jokes, he can't laugh without feeling pain.

Even though the clown is dead, long gone as it decays in a dark abyss for eternity. It haunts Richie, and it'll haunt Richie for as long as he lives.

His mind is forever trapped in Derry, no matter how far he travels or how hard he tries to forget.

The only thing giving him a millisecond of escape is the gorgeous honey-brown that is Eddie's gaze. The indescribable affection the smaller boy feels so prominent in his eyes. That is Richies escape, Eddie is Richies escape.

"Honey what are you going up." The freckled man groaned, his voice husky and eyes closed.

"I just can't sleep baby, I'm fine though Eds you can go back to sleep." The taller man replied, his large hand wrapping around his husband's body carefully, making it painfully obvious he was trying not to touch the scar.

"No, you're not. You haven't been sleeping for a while. On top of that, you won't touch me and you haven't been eating." Eddie spoke, he nuzzled into the warmth of Richie behind him.

"Baby that's not true," Richie whispered, his other hand gently caressing Eddie's thigh.

"Don't fucking lie to me." The other boy spat, he shifted from under Richie's arms, sitting up. Richie stared as he saw the prominent scar on Eddie's bare chest, and everything flooded back.

The claw.

The wound.

The never-ending blood.

"Fucking look at me." Eddie hissed as he grabbed Richie's chin, forcing it to look at the smaller boy as his eyes filled with tears.

"What's wrong honey, I'm sorry for yelling I'm just worried," Eddie spoke gently as he noticed Richie's tears. He pulled his husband into a tight embrace.

"I-I, my dreams. I see y-you. D-d-dead." Richie stuttered out, his hands desperately grabbing onto Eddie's back, once again avoiding the scar.

"Baby no, no don't think that. I'm right here, I'm always right here." Eddie whispered. He pulled back and placed a small kiss on Richie's nose, then on his cheek, then the other cheek, his forehead, chin, jaw, neck, ears, everywhere he possibly could.

"I'll never leave you, we're together forever baby. Nothing can take me away, not even death itself." Eddie continued as he cupped his husband's cheeks with his hands. He stared into the blood-shot coffee brown eyes that Richie exhibited, feeling so pained at the expression on his husband's face.

"Don't fucking think like that what the fuck." Eddie cried out as he pulled Richie in for another hug. "We beat the fucking clown, I'm here and I'm okay, nothing will take me from you." He sobbed into Richie's ear.

The other boy was frozen, that's all he needed to hear. He needed Eddie to understand and tell him they'll be together forever.

He needed to beat his nightmares, force himself to understand that they won't ever be apart no matter what happens.