pretty || malum (discontinued)

prologue

calum has always known there was something different about him.

he'd always thought that boys were more attractive than girls. in fact, calum didn't believe girls to be appealing at all, but when he was young, he'd refused to look too far into it. "maybe it's just a phase," he'd later say, trying to convince himself that he was "normal." calum didn't want his parents to believe that they'd created a gay son when he wasn't even sure himself.

calum figured that everyone believing he was straight was the best way to go. he didn't like judgment, especially the cruel impertinence of some people to base their judgments on how someone looks or acts or to assume why someone is the way that he or she is.

calum has always been a sensitive guy. he didn't need anyone being insolent towards him because he likes boys. after all, that was something he wouldn't be able to control. he'd seen enough impudent, rudely intolerant exchanges pass between his classmates over little things to know that he was afraid of people abusing him like that over a much more serious matter.

so, calum acted like a typical heterosexual, closeted asshole and used his ravishing good looks to his own advantage. throughout his middle school years, he cockily smirked at all the girls he encountered in the hallways. he flirted with women much too old for him. he dated only popular girls and dumped them after he got sick of them (so his relationships lasted only about a week or two). it was safe to say that calum passed the test of interpreting himself as a classic douchebag.

calum didn't enjoy acting like a man, a jock, a bastard, even. he never has. for him, it went against his true character. it wasn't real; the way he acted around his family and friends was just a mask to save his own ass.

calum has always liked the type of clothing girls wore, but he'd never admit that to even the closest people in his life. he knew he'd be judged the second he walked into school wearing clothing of various bright colors. he was a popular guy; he'd been eminently popular ever since he'd first portrayed his false incompetence in the seventh grade. why would he dress like a girl when he had achieved such a valuable reputation?

calum has always been jealous of people with pale skin. he was jealous of his best friend luke for his skin being as white as a sheet. he was jealous and angry at his father for being so pale but not distributing any of his white skin tone to his son.

the tan boy once browsed different pale blogs on tumblr for hours on end, saving pictures from time to time. he came across a few pale boys on the blogs and he immediately envied them. calum wished he was pale; he just liked pale things.

once calum turned thirteen, he and his sister mali celebrated with a lazy day in. calum had friends, of course, but he wasn't really an 'extravagant birthday party' kind of guy. the two spent calum's first day as a teenager by eating half of a large pineapple pizza and pigging out on strawberry ice cream. how manly on calum's behalf.

calum took a strong liking to strawberry ice cream that day. and he never really understood why. he'd never tried it before then. in his opinion, strawberry ice cream wasn't his favorite to taste, but it was his favorite to look at. he loved its soft impression and its smooth texture and its pale pink color, but that was about it.

calum decided he wanted to watch a movie for his birthday. mali chose to watch titanic and calum's initial reaction was to internally squeal like an excited fangirl.

for his own sake, calum pretended like he was uninterested in watching the chick flick. but that was far from the truth. he'd been wanting to see the tragic film ever since he'd seen leonardo dicaprio was starring in it. "it isn't attraction," he kept telling himself. "leo is just a great actor and one of my all-time favorites."