Mulligans

16. Morning Run

Nathan turned to Tyler's bed, where his son lay on his back with his arms splayed and jaw hanging slack, ready to catch flies. He grabbed Tyler's big toe and gave it a yank. Tyler gave a little kick and then rolled over, mumbling incoherently.

Chase woke up, startled when he saw Nathan. "Hey!"

Nathan jumped back as well and then tried a half whisper. "Morning. Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Wake-up call. Time to run!"

Chase untwisted his limbs from the rolled sheets and climbed out of bed, stretching his arms up to the ceiling. Nathan couldn't help but let his eyes trace the lean muscle of Chase's chest and stomach down to the waistband of his red boxer shorts. Chase walked over to the sink, splashed water on his face, and then stuck a toothbrush in his mouth, talking around it. "Hey, sleeping beauty. Time to get up. Your dad is ready to run."

Nathan looked down to Tyler, who still didn't respond. He took a seat on the edge of Tyler's bed and sat waiting, his eyes furtively slipping up from the place on the floor where he tried to keep them trained to Chase leaning over the sink. The sunlight beginning to stream through the window made the blond hair on his tan legs glimmer. His little horseshoe-shaped triceps flexed as he leaned over the sink to rinse his mouth. It was a simple moment, just a morning routine, but for some reason it was captivating and... beautiful.

Chase walked past Nathan to the open closet and pulled out some shorts and a tank top. He slipped on the shorts and sat across from Nathan on his own bed to tie his sneakers. His forearms flexed as he tightened the laces, and he slung the tank top over his shoulder, only increasing the swimming sensation in Nathan's head. "Yo, Tyler! Let's go!" Chase said, rising and giving the lump of Tyler's body under the covers a shake.

"Go without me! Seriously, Dad, you're insane. No human should be awake right now." Tyler moaned and rolled over, pulling his pillow over his head.

Chase smiled at Nathan. "All right. Me and you, then."

The soft crunch of gravel created a steady beat as Chase and Nathan jogged down the tree-lined path. Sunlight intermittently flickered through the giant trees, giving whole patches of earth an ethereal glow and leaving others swimming in shadows. They had been jogging for about fifteen minutes, in silence, one occasionally falling back and allowing the other to lead before leapfrogging again. Nathan felt self-conscious when he was leading the excursion. Second-guessing whether the pace was too fast or too slow, hoping it was neither and that Chase wasn't "jogging" just to be polite at a pace he could do a brisk walk to.

Though these worries troubled his mind while up front, they all dissipated as soon as he fell behind. Then most thoughts left his mind completely, and he was left staring and chasing after those little blue-and-gold running shorts as they cut through the woods.

His mind had been abuzz since Tyler told him about Chase. He was thinking irrationally, even inappropriately. He wanted to tell Chase a thousand things, a thousand thoughts he'd had, and ask a thousand questions too. It was all making sense now, why he'd felt the inexplicable connection. And after twenty years of marriage and a lifetime of trying to keep temptations away, here was the very epitome of temptation living under his roof. It had been one thing when Chase arrived, and Nathan felt a catch in his throat and a warm sensation creeping through his body. He was able to compartmentalize that into a little box and label it as "attractive, unattainable, and inappropriate—Do Not Touch." But now, the box had a new label: "attractive, potentially attainable, and inappropriate." He was having difficulty allowing that last part of the description to keep him from ripping off the "Do Not Touch" warning.

Nathan wasn't ready to make a statement like Chase had; he couldn't imagine it. It would destroy his family, his reputation, and his whole identity as he perceived it. He wasn't even sure that the label was the right one for him; he had never been with anyone but Stacey. So obviously he wasn't gay, but how to explain away these recurring and persistent fantasies? Especially when Chase was wearing those blue-and-gold shorts that hugged him all too well in all the right places and was jogging right in front of him.