wanna be yours ; kagehina

nineteen

     shōyō asked if i wanted to come over to his house tonight. he said i could sleepover.

     okay, i'm really gonna puke. like, this is it. this is the time.

     he doesn't want to do that. of course not! i'm dumb, but i'm not stupid. that's not the issue.
     i'm just an ugly sleeper. like, majorly, unbelievably ugly. and i don't want him to see that and then think i'm not likable anymore and drop me for some other guy who is inevitably light years hotter and smarter than me.
     i mean, look at him. he's so pretty all by himself, and when he's asleep? man, i don't even know if i can handle that.
     but, here i am, at his door anyway.

     "hi!"

     "hey."

     he let me in, and i put my stuff down at the door. before i could properly turn around, he lunged at me with open arms and hung himself around my neck, standing unevenly on the tips of his toes and breathing softly into my collarbone.

     "i can feel your heart beating. you're always so nervous," he giggled as i leaned down a little and wrapped my own arms around his back.

     "shut up."

     he tipped his head back and looked at me, laughing heartily at my cherry red face, and he said, "you're so cute."

     i shoved my panic down as far as it could go and i followed him to the couch, where he laid all over me without a care in the world and put on some show i payed no attention to. i sat there for hours, watching him as he tossed and turned all over, going from sprawled out across my lap to hugging my arm in the space beside me to sitting with his legs bent over mine and hunching over to lean on his knees. he moved around, and i just watched, a smile tattooed on my face, because that's what he does to me. he makes me smile.

     "tobio, are you tired yet?"

     "i guess."

     "i'm tired," he yawned, and he rubbed his eyes softly, scrunching up his nose as he spoke. "wanna sleep?"

     "sure."

     i began to hoist myself off the couch to grab a blanket, but a warm hand anchored me to its owner.

     "hey, tobio?"

     "yeah?"

     "i'm happy you came over. you're my favorite person."

     "me too. for both things."

     he's so sleepy, and i am, too, but i would stay awake forever if it meant that i could pause time and look at him the way he is now. curly tendrils of orange hair wisping around his freckled forehead, the sweatshirt i took off not too long ago falling around his shoulders, and my favorite color glowing in the light of the tv.

     "you're so pretty."

     "ew, don't be a sap, tobio. you're supposed to be mean and silent and tall and stuff. i liked you better when you didn't talk so much." he blushed. it looked like me, the way he turned red. i know he's joking.

     "sure you did."