Old Friends (Janet and Toni Fanfic)

Chapter 73

I'd had some revelations yesterday evening that really scared me to think she and I hadn't done everything right up until this point. I could never fathom us having to leave one another, for any reason in the world, but what happened, and what I realized, is that we weren't bulletproof. We weren't perfect. And if I wanted to save the last good thing left in my life, this tough conversation had to happen sooner rather than later. I didn't want to leave anything on the table that could come back and bite later on.

Feeling her body rise and fall against mine in her slumber made me a little emotional to think I may not be able to have this forever. Of course that was my last resort and worst-case scenario, but after what happened yesterday, I knew there was a possibility that it could be the best thing for us.

"Jan," I whispered, letting my fingertips trace the soft skin covering her spine. She was fast asleep. I nudged her as gently as I could.

"Huh?" She said, her voice terribly light and innocent as she slowly turned her head and snuggled closer into me. She didn't want to wake up. Eventually we would have to.

"I love you, baby."

She only groaned and continued sleeping. I sighed and let her remain for about ten more minutes before felt myself beginning to self destruct in my head. I needed to talk. Maybe not about our relationship, but after spending so much time alone in the last week, I craved positive human interaction.

"Janet Jackson," I whispered. "Wake up, please?"

"No," she groaned.

"Why not?"

"Because I know it's coming."

My stomach fell to the floor as she held me even tighter. "I can feel you thinking about it, and... if we get up, then—"

"Hey, hey. No, baby. We can talk about anything else right now. I don't want to ruin this moment for anything in the world. I really, really don't. Just talk to me."

"Promise."

"I swear. See? Look." I held up my pinky finger. She lifted her head and when it registered, she linked hers with mine. I bit her knuckle playfully before kissing it three times. She smiled softly, then took a deep breath and finally climbed off of me. I decided she'd never looked more beautiful as she stood before me, completely bare in every sense. She was trying to fix her hair, but I stopped her. "Wait. Leave it... leave it just like that."

"All over my head? It looks crazy. I can tell."

"It doesn't to me."

"It's cold in here." She hurried into the bathroom for her robe, and she handed me mine as well once I decided to get up too. We both cleaned up briefly in the double sink, and then she just watched me silently in the mirror. The tension could be cut with a knife, but I promised her I wouldn't take it there right now.

"What are you... are you... hungry?" I offered after too much quiet had settled.

"Not really. Let's, um... let's go get in the hot tub. I caught a Charlie horse last night I think." She laughed.

"Okay, sure."

"But one more thing. You said it earlier, and I didn't say it back... I love you too." I could hear a little desperation in her voice that made me swallow back an urge to cry. I kissed her softly to distract myself from it momentarily.

"I know, Janet Jackson."

"Wear that olive green one-piece."

"No please or nothing?" I crossed my arms over my chest.