PYROMANIAC - (Umbrella Academy) X Five Hargreeves

1:16

"I'd ask what you're up to, Klaus, but then it occurred to me," Five paused on the ladder and she had to quickly stop herself from accidentally kicking him in the face. "I dont care."

Klaus, taking no offence, looked up at the two with a welcoming grin. "Hey!" He called out, before frowning. "You know there are easier ways out of the house?"

Ah, at least someone agreed with her. The fact he was probably high did not make her point any less logical.

Five shrugged and casually hopped off the ladder. "This one involved the least amount of talking," he spoke honestly before pausing. "Or so I thought."

Lena continued to lower herself down the fire exit, very aware of Fives stare on the back of her head. She kept her hand on the rung and jumped down, making sure she landed on her good leg and held on for balance.

"Hey, so you need anymore company today? I could clear my schedule."

Lena pulled the end of her sleeves over her hands as she stood slightly behind Five, allowing him to continue before they did their stake out.

Five glanced at the man in the garbage. "Looks like you've got your hands full." He commented dryly.

Klaus splayed his hands nonchalantly and glanced around the alley. "Oh, this? No no, I can do this whenever. I'm just-"

The man lost his footing as one of the bin bags slid from under him and he stumbled backwards, falling deeper into the trash.

Lena cringed.

She watched with a grimace as he resurfaced with litter lingering in his hair. "I just misplaced something, that's all," he smiled fakely before picking something up. "Oh! Found it! Thank god."

In his hands he clutched a half eaten bagel that looked like even the rats would avoid eating it.

Trying to convince them further, he hesitantly brought it to his mouth.

"Don't you dare!"

It burst into flames in his hand and he yelled, throwing it behind him to avoid the flaming bread.

Klaus and Five looked wide eyed at a sheepish Lena, who fiddled with her hands. "Sorry. I really didn't want to see you eat that."

A part of her would have died a little inside if he had.

"I'm done funding your drug habit." Five sighed and turned his back to the man.

"Come on! You don't-" he paused, turning to face Lena. "Maybe I just wanna hang out with my brother and his wife! You know, get to know her?"

Lena rose her eyebrows up at him. "Wait, how do you know I'm his-"

He waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, please, I'm a junkie. I spotted that rings on the both of you the second you blinked into the back yard. I've got to say yours is a lot nicer, though. Very chic."

She opened her mouth to respond, but Five started walking towards a van at the end of the alley and caught her eye.

"Mi hermano!" Klaus called past his shoulder. "I love you! Even if you can't love yourself." He cried, not making any sense.

Lena almost laughed. She couldn't believe Klaus was the first Hargreeves to connect the dots.

She twisted the dark gold ring on her finger, thumb brushing over the tarnished metal, and grinned up at Klaus.

"Maybe next time you can tag along, Klaus." She said, going to leave him.

Klauses face went serious as he leant on the side of the dumpster. "How the hell do you put up with him? I mean, what'd he do to get someone like you?"

Lena didn't know what to say, so shrugged with a hesitant smile and began limping to the van that her husband was waiting in.

Sighing to herself, she realised this was now their stolen mode of transport. Shestrode up to the passenger seat and opened the door. Without a question, she climbed in and closed the door.

"Couldn't we have just borrowed-"

"-this was easier," Five cut her off instantly, as though hed already thought of what she was going to say. He started the engine and as the drive began, Lena began smiling down at her lap with a smile.

He caught it in the corner of his vision and stared at her in the rear view mirror. "What's got you so cheerful all of a sudden? Did mom give you too many painkillers?" He asked with dread.

She giggled. "No! Well, maybe, but I'm not complaining." She ignored his concerned stare and continued, still twisting her ring in her lap. "Klaus knows we're married."

He almost did a double take. She was serious. "How in the hell was he the first to figure it out?"

She shrugged. "He saw the rings."

Five rolled his eyes, looking back at the road. "Right. He's like a magpie looking for shiny things. You better keep an eye on that and hope he doesn't try pawning it off for money."

She swatted him in the shoudler. "Don't be so mean. I like Klaus, he's a delight compared to the others."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"