Behind Those Glasses (EDITING)

23.

"Y-Yael..."

"Are you okay? Can you walk?"

I couldn't help myself to smile. Days passed by but I still missed him. I missed him so much. Nangilid ang luha sa mata ko ngunit umiwas ako ng tingin para hindi niya mahalata iyon.

"I'm fine. I can walk. Don't worry about me," I said, then pushed him away.

"I know this isn't the right time, but can we talk? Kahit limang minuto lang?" His voice croaked.

Pumikit ako ng mariin. I'm not yet ready for this. But when would I be ready, then? Kailangan na naming mag-usap. I must hear his explanation. Kahit ayaw kong marining ang kasinungalingan niya, kailangan ko iyon para manahimik ang utak ko.

"Sure, then."

Dinala niya ako sa park, kung saan madalas kaming tumambay dati. The weather is fine, hindi masyadong mainit kahit tanghaling tapat na. The trees and plants are growing beautifully. Umupo kaming pareho sa wooden bench.

"So, how are you?" Yael started.

"I'm doing fine. My friends are there to comfort me," I answered.

"Your friends? Kasama ba do'n si Thunder? Napansin ko kasing madalas kayong magkasama these passed few days. Maybe he's courting you or something?"

"Yael, you know what, sumama ako rito para pag-usapan iyong relasyon natin. Hindi ako pumunta rito para lang imbestigahan mo ko sa lagay namin ni Thunder."

"Oh, I'm sorry about that."

Nakakabinging katahimikan ang namayagpag. Ang tunog ng mga ibon at malilit na insekto ang naririnig ko sa buong paligid. The swaying of the leaves from the trees makes me calm and sad at the same time.

"The engagement was my father's idea," Yael talked again, "I never wanted it but I couldn't refused, too. He's my father, after all."

"I know that. It might be the best for us. But why you didn't tell me before? You had your chance, Yael. You should tell me before the announcement of your fucking engagement!"

"Naduwag ako, Raine. Natakot ako. Pinili kong itago sa'yo kasi alam kong mawawala ka sa akin. Masasaktan kita kung sinabi ko sa'yo."

"Sa tingin mo hindi ako nasasaktan ngayon? Everyone was laughing at me. Wala naman akong pake roon. Kaso ang masakit lang, dalawa kayo ni Summer ang nakakaalam pero wala man lang umamin ni isa sa inyo. Ang hayop niyo, ang baboy niyo."

"I am sorry, babe. I'm really really sorry. I'm sorry," he begun to cry. Paulit-ulit niya iyong sinabi. Walang ibang lumabas sa bibig niya kundi ang paghingi ng tawad.

My tears fell down, too. Umiyak na rin ako ngayong nakikita siyang ganito. I thought that Yael and I were  really perfect. He was my everything. I loved him with all of my heart.

"Araw-araw, gabi-gabi kong tinatanong ang sarili ko. Kung may nagawa ba akong mali, o may mali ba sa akin. Kung saan ako nagkulang, o baka may hindi ba ako binigay," I cried.

Yael pulled me closer so he could hugged me. Hinayaan ko siyang gawin iyon. Kasi kahit anong pagsisinungaling ang sabihin ko, I felt home when his arms wrapped around me. He was my home.

"It was my mistake, love. Wala kang kasalanan dito. Ako iyong nagkamali, ako iyong nagloko, ako iyong naging duwag para ipaglaban ang relasyong ito."

"No, Yael. Siguro hindi lang talaga ako iyong babaeng kalaban-laban. You got coward because I was not worth the fight. I know that, Yael." I smiled, even I'm emotionally and mentally hurt.

"I'm really sorry, Raniela."

Humiwalay na ako sa kanya at pinunasan ang mga luha sa pisngi ko. Namumula ngayon si Yael, dala na rin ng pag-iyak kaya namamaga ang mga mata niya. I smiled at him to assure that it'll be fine. I know we'll be fine. He might be coward to fight for me, but I hope he'll be brave man to love Summer.

"Invite me to your wedding, alright?" Natatawa kong pahayag.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I am. Summer is my best friend, Yael."

"Sasabihin ko sa kanya kung ganoon," he smiled apologetically.

I took a deep breath. Tila unti-unting nawawala ang bigat sa aking dibdib. This closure is one of my right decision after all. I'm happy.

"I think, it's time to move on, then?" I asked.

"S-Sure, but still remember that I love you, and I will always love you even if our relationship was ended. You are my first love and I'll never forget the love and care you gave." He kissed me on my forehead.

Napapikit ako sa ginawa niya. Tumatak ang bawat salita sa puso't isipan ko. When I felt his soft lips, I couldn't help to reminisce our memories together. Tumulo muli ang luha ko pero pinunasan ko na agad iyon.

"I loved you, Yael. I hope you'll be happy with Summer. Alagaan mo siya gaya ng pag-aalaga mo sa akin. And love her the way you loved me. Oh no, love her and take care of her more than you did to me. That's my last wish for you to fulfill."

"Of course, I will do that. Thank you, Raine. I hope you'll find the happiness you deserve," and kissed me again, this time, he kissed me on my lips. "Sa susunod na buhay, sisiguraduhin kong ikaw na ang pipilin ko."

Nauna na akong umalis doon. Nakangiti akong umalis ngunit naramdaman ulit ngayon ang lungkot at sakit. When I saw Thunder walking, I tried my best to run towards him. I hugged him and cried to his chest.

"Just a minute." I mumbled.

Humagulhol muli ako. Pang-ilang iyak ko na ba ito? Pero sigurado akong ito na ang huling pagkakataon na iiyakan ko si Yael.

"Shush, baby. It's fine, you'll be fine, baby." He careses the top of my head and gently strokes my hair with his fingertips.