Save Me From Myself

Chapter Eleven - Guess Who Came To Dinner

I pick at my lunch distractedly. Nadine sits across from me chatting with Damien. Karlie and Jacob are talking quietly to each other. This has become a regular lunch routine. Nadine has tried to include me in the conversation a couple times but quickly learned I'm better off listening. 

I stand from the lunch table and excuse myself. I walk outside towards the football field. It's way too cold for my liking but I stand there anyway. The weather nips at my exposed skin. I hug my arms around myself in hopes of warming up. 

"Valentina?"

I hear Nadine call out to me. I don't turn around but she comes to stand in front of me either way. She places her hands on my arms and rubs gently up and down. "Is everything okay?"

I nod, "Yeah. Everything is fine."

She gives me a look. "Seriously."

"Something is bothering you though. Was is it?"

"Carmen ... she's going to school."

"Is that not a good thing?"

"No, it is. It's just - as much as she annoys me, she's always been there. No matter how frustrating I could be she stayed. I'm not an easy person to deal with, but somehow Carmen made it look easy. I just don't know what's going to happen when she leaves."

"Oh, honey, you love your sister. You're sad to see her go. That is so completely normal. It might help you feel better though if you tell her."

"I could never. She would never let me live it down."

She pulls me into her arms. She chin rest gently on my head. "I'm not going anywhere, though. So you won't have to worry about me leaving."

You don't actually believe that, do you?

Carmen is just first. Eventually everyone around you is going to leave you. 

You're disgusting. 

You'll have nobody and it will be all your fault. 

"Let's go back inside now," I say. 

Nadine pulls back but keeps her arm around my body. I hoped and prayed that she was telling the truth. I won't be able to handle her leaving. 

"Why haven't you started getting dressed?"

I look at Carmen, annoyed. "Dressed for what?"

"It's Thanksgiving. We're having dinner together. You're supposed to look nice."

"You want me to get dressed only to go downstairs and sit at the kitchen table."

Carmen rolls her eyes. "Would you stop being a brat and just throw on something semi-decent. Do it for mom if you won't do it for me. She's literally been cooking all day."

I groan, "Fine. Go away, so I can get dressed."

Carmen smiles and closes my bedroom door. I slip out of bed and search through my closet. I finally find an old skirt that my mom got me a few months ago. It's dark blue and stops just above my knees. I pair it with a clean white shirt and put it on. I leave my hair in the ponytail and slip on white socks. Just to be sure Carmen won't say anything I put on a couple bracelets. 

"Girls! Dinner's ready!"

I leave my room at the same time Carmen is leaving hers. She gives me a thumbs up and we both go downstairs together. Everything smelled so good. Mom definitely cooked for more than three people but she looked so happy that I didn't say anything.