She's Dreaming

Chapter 3

"Is this what's been eating you up from the inside all of this time? Is this why you have been away from me for so long? Why have you been roaming about wreaking havoc in this universe?" He looked shocked. Did he really have no idea at all? How clueless could he be...

She wanted to get angry. But what was the point? He didn't really care for her, so she decided to pretend not to care for him as well.

"Oh my god, if you had only said something. My dearest Kali. Your black skin is one of the reasons I adore you - it glows and shines with the blood of all of the demons you have partaken. I love everything about you, especially your red-hot anger, and your raging bloodthirst. It is what entices me to you. You are captivating to me. In your own special way. I love Parvati and Sati, that is something that I cannot deny. But you, you are precious to me in your own way. I do not love them more than you. It's like saying that there is one star in the sky that is more precious to the Earth. They are all unique in their ways. I have missed you more than you can realize. But I did not wish to come to you, because I believed you were busy doing your thing. Like you always do. I remember I came searching for you in the past and you got angry with me for being too clingy. I decided to give you your space. But if I had known you were feeling this way, I would have come looking for you, much, much sooner. Please don't be mad at me anymore. Can we be together now? I just want to feel your heart beating against mine."

He held his arms out trying to bring her into his embrace. He stood there, shining as he always did. Shiva, the most divine of all men, the most powerful of all Gods. She still couldn't believe that she got to be his wife, it had to be a miracle in itself.

Why did she have these moments of feeling unworthy? She knew everyone looks at her and thought that she was full of confidence and self-worth. But when she was on her own, in those solitary moments, these feelings of unworthiness popped up into her consciousness. In those moments, she felt like no matter what anyone said or did, she would be unworthy of receiving love. Who was she to be able to receive Shiva's love? Every woman in the world wanted to be Shiva's bride. Every woman in the world wanted to feel his tight embrace. To feel his chest against theirs. His cock against their cunt. Or even inside it. So why her? Out of all of the others out there, why her?

As soon as she went into those spirals of depression, she had to pull herself out immediately. Otherwise, the danger was that she would never be able to come out again. And in those moments, she had tried this little technique. She went to her favourite tree in the world. There was one that was planted when she was born, so it was the same age as her. She pretended that they were friends. That they were compatriots and partners-in-crime, so to say. He knew her and she knew him. He was flawless, being an old tree.

She went to him and said, "Hello, old friend." And he smiled, lets his hair flow in the breeze, and says hello back to her.

And then she asked him, "Do you love me, tree?" She didn't give him a name, because as a tree, he was connected to all of the trees in the world, through the soil, the fungus, and the roots in the soil. They were all the same. One huge network of trees. They were one, just like we were all one. "I love you, Kali, my friend." He always said, in that deep rumbling voice of his, that shook the Earth, and terrified every little creature near him.

That was all she needed to hear. That was all she needed to feel. As soon as he said those words in that soothing voice, she felt at ease. She was worthy of love, because a tree, a friend, a being like him who had seen her in so many incarnations, who had seen all the good and the bad in her, still loved her unconditionally. So why wouldn't she be worthy of love? If a tree like him can love her so easily, anyone else should be able to love her much more easily!

Shiva was still waiting there. Calmly, peacefully, patiently, holding his arms out to her. She could feel the heat in his body calling out to her. She could feel every cell in her body tingling, as if they knew what was coming. He was close to her. She could almost hear his heart beating. Was it beating the rhythm of her name? Kali, Kali, Kali, with each beat, as if he were yearning for her as she yearned for him.